Families say goodbyes as soldiers begin journey to Afghanistan

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Pfc. Ronaldo Arenas kissed his wife goodbye and walked into the darkness.

It was 4 a.m. Saturday and the buses inside the fence at the Clark County Armory were waiting to take him and more than 600 soldiers from Nevada’s 1st Squadron, 221st Cavalry on the first leg of their year-long journey to the war front in Afghanistan.

Ronaldo didn’t want his wife, Kara, and their 4-year-old son, Trystan, to follow him the last hundred yards to the bus destined for McCarran International Airport “because he didn’t want to look back,” Kara said.

“I’m scared,” she said with tears trickling down her cheeks. “That could be the last time we see each other.”

Wearing pajamas and strapped inside a car seat, Trystan dozed with a quirky smile on his cherub face, oblivious to the fact his dad would be gone for a long time, long enough to miss his fifth birthday in December.

“I don’t want to explain this to Trystan when he wakes up,” Kara said. “He doesn’t even know what’s happening.”

Like most of the soldiers’ families, they didn’t stick around to watch the eight buses and two Army trucks roll out the gate an hour later. With the predawn, eastern sky starting to lighten to a shade of cobalt blue, the plan was for the soldiers to make a low-key exodus to the airport. There, four charter jets waited, ready to fly them to their first stop: Camp Atterbury, Ind.

That scene of families crying and hugging and kissing soldiers in the headlights of parked cars at the armory was duplicated dozens of times. Ditto that for some who wandered to the string of buses, hoping to get one last wave in.

“Words can’t describe it,” 23-year-old Mayra Lopez said, standing with her daughter, Destiny, 3, while Sgt. John Lopez disappeared into the bustle of soldiers pitching duffle bags and backpacks into the belly of one bus.

Said John Lopez: “As any other soldier who has a wife, it hurts.”

Lupe Ortiz had this to say about her husband, Sgt. Randy Ortiz: “I just wish him the best and hope he comes back home safe.”

Adriana Ortiz, 5, and her brother, Angel, 11, were awake and alert.

“I just wish that he’ll come back safe and sound, not like with any problems, no bad dreams or anything like, you know, on the TV shows,” Angel Ortiz said.

Nancy Grossman has said goodbye before to her son, Sgt. Steven Grossman, of Las Vegas.

“This is his third deployment in 51/2 years. He’s been to Iraq twice,” she said, standing with her 4-year-old granddaughter and Steven’s girlfriend. “There’s a lot of sadness. A lot of worry.”

EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH

For 22-year-old Ronaldo Arenas, this is his first overseas deployment, one he said he’s committed to completing in order to accomplish a goal he set after graduating from Sierra Vista High School with the class of 2005.

“When 9/11 hit, I really wanted to go out there and fight for my country,” he said. “I hesitated a little bit and in 2006 I joined (the National Guard). I promised myself I would defend my country.”

Born in the Philippines, he has spent most of his life in the Las Vegas Valley, growing up with his father, Ronaldo Sr., older brother Rancho, sister Rica and his half-brother Jordan.

As a student-athlete at Sierra Vista, he played strong safety on the football team and enjoyed playing basketball as well. Sports laid the foundation for his future as a scout with the 1st Squadron’s Kilo “Killers” Troop, which will be providing security for a provincial reconstruction team in southeastern Afghanistan.

His best friend as a teenager, Donovan Ballantyne, later became his brother-in-law. “He’s always been there for me,” Ballantyne said after a farewell toast Friday night at the Arenases’ home, where cake was served at a gathering of family and friends. It was an occasion fitting for the couple’s motto: “Live, love, laugh.”

“I wish that he wasn’t going,” he said, “but I admire him for being brave enough to go out and serve our country. That’s what he chose to do in life.”

Kara said she didn’t always agree with his decision to join the National Guard, particularly when Trystan was born.

“But at some point you’ve got to get rid of your selfishness … even though we had a child at home, he’s defending our son also.”

Nevertheless, she said, “I’m probably going to get whiplash.

“You go through so many different emotions. One minute you’re completely, utterly proud that your husband is defending the country, but then you also wonder when our son is having nightmares in the middle of the night because he misses his dad,” Kara said. “You go through that sad emotion but you also go through that, you yourself are a strong woman or person staying home to take care of the situation.”

The Arenas family has no shortage of things to fear, but they have vowed never to lose hope that Ronaldo will return safely.

“He might come back and have post-traumatic stress,” Kara said. “You always have those nightmares. You still just got to keep positive about it. You have to believe that everything is going to be the same when he returns and everything is going to go back to normal.”

Ronaldo said, “Everyone fears the same thing: not coming back home or missing a limb, but we’ve got to step up to it and hope for the best, expect the worst.”

He said he’s going to miss his family “very much, but that’s part of the job. I’m going to miss playing sports” and playing with Trystan.

“When my son wakes up, he wakes me up in the morning to play with me, and now he’s just going to wake up and I’m not going to be there,” he said. “It sucks leaving him behind.”

Kara said cartoon heroes have helped communicate to Trystan why his daddy won’t be home for a while.

“He understands that,” she said. “Thank God for Iron Man and Transformers at the moment because those movies showed how soldiers are helping out superheroes.

She predicts it will be tough one night “when he wakes up with tears and he wants his daddy. … If he doesn’t talk to daddy, he knows he can talk to God and God will tell daddy that he loves him and he misses him. But at this point, he’s 4 years old. How do you explain to your 4-year-old tomorrow will be the last time you see him until 2010?”

Ronaldo also must grapple with the thought of having to shoot someone to protect himself and his comrades.

“If I have to pull the trigger on somebody, I always put it this way,” he said. “It’s either me or him, with him going to his family or me going to my family. So, I’ll pull the trigger first. No hesitation.”

Contact reporter Keith Rogers at krogers @reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0308.