Too bad ‘Battle Born’ was already taken

There’s still time, Nevada!

Although the state’s Tourism Commission has compiled a list of potential taglines designed to draw tourists to the state, it’s still very early in the process. I’ll bet Lt. Gov. Brian Krolicki and his team would accept last-minute suggestions.

The state has spent about $250,000 with Seattle-based firm Green Rubino to help find a slogan – and before you start complaining about wasted dollars, understand the commission is funded entirely by room taxes.

The firm has narrowed a short list of ideas: Amplify. Live Bold. ReiNVent. Soaring Possibilities. Soar. Unlimited Horizons. All In Nevada. Go All Out. Limitless.

OK, sure, I like what you’ve done here. But let’s just stipulate that anything less interesting or exciting than the state’s actual motto – “All for our country” – is going to need serious tweaking. (In fact, the state is sending these ideas to focus groups now, where they’ll be tested and probably adjusted.)

Some of the ideas that didn’t make the short list hold some promise, too: Adventure in Every Direction. Dig Into It. (Hey, doesn’t the Nevada Mining Association own that one?) Discovery Runs Deep. Horizons Everywhere. Live Brighter. Vast Possibilities. Opportunity Soars.

Then again, some were rightly set aside. NEVADAmazing? A Great Place To Be? Nature’s Theme Park? C’mon, people.

Ever helpful, I’ve tried to come up with some suggestions, which I offer to the state’s top tourism officials royalty-free, in exchange for all the fun the state’s politicians have given to me over the years. See what you think:

– “Nevada: The hills have eyes.” Not only does it evoke a sense of danger and excitement, but the allusions to cannibalism cannot help but conjure Las Vegas’ incredible dining experiences. Yes, we do have some very nice chianti, as a matter of fact.

– “Nevada: The middle of nowhere.” By this, we tell people not only where the state is located geographically, but promise them a chance to really get away from it all by going to places where there are no signs of human habitation for miles and miles.

– “Nevada: Good from far, but far from good.” You know, because of the many sins we commit.

“Nevada: You just might see a three-headed deer.” Of course the Department of Energy has told us that above-ground nuclear testing conducted in the 1950s was perfectly safe; they wouldn’t let soldiers stand so close if it wasn’t, right? And of course we can’t promise that radiation released by those munitions has caused mutations in animal life. But that’s why we’d say “you might” see those things. Then again, you might not! Keep coming back to be sure!

– “Nevada: Before it’s too late!” This slogan evokes a sense of urgency to visit, to see things that are here now, but won’t be for long, such as a Red Rock Canyon undisturbed by rapacious construction on Blue Diamond Hill, free-flowing springs in Eastern Nevada before they’re siphoned south for casino waterfalls and golf course water hazards, or the rare and soon-to-be-extinct Southern Nevada Conservative Democrat.

– “Nevada: All hope abandon, ye who enter here.” It’s classic, it’s literary, it shows off our brainy side. Plus most people will not get the reference. And since the guy who wrote that is long dead, no royalties!

– “Nevada: Like you’ve got something better to do?” This represents micro-targeting of both the idle rich and those still unable to find a job, even though the private sector is reportedly “doing fine.”

– “Nevada: Oh, why the hell not?” This one seems as if we’ve just given up, but really, it mirrors the reasoning of many people making their sojourns to the state. Plus, it’s way better than NEVADAmazing.

Steve Sebelius is a Review-Journal political columnist and author of the blog SlashPolitics.com. Follow him on Twitter (@SteveSebelius) or reach him at 387-5276 or SSebelius @reviewjournal.com.