Who are they kidding? BCS really means Because Corporations Say

Shaddup, you BCS haters!

Not that “Rants & Raves” doesn’t agree with your demand for a playoff system in college football — the best eight teams being pared down to numero uno — it’s just that it’s not going to happen.

Nope. Not in your lifetime. Not in your grandchildren’s lifetime. …

• As long as the major bowl games are run by corporate committees backed by big-time TV advertising, the system isn’t going to change.

You can opine/whine all you want, but the world bows to the almighty dollar and those who control it. And believe us, those top-tier bowl committees have a tighter grip on old George Washington than Florida quarterback — and likely Heisman Trophy winner — Tim Tebow does on a center snap. …

• Consider life without the Bowl Championship Series. A playoff would be much too simple, too neat and clean, too, um, sensible? (Sure, teams Nos. 9 through 25 would gripe about not being invited, but that’s an entirely different discussion.)

Without the BCS, what would there to be complain about in December? The holiday traffic? The in-laws coming to visit for — gulp! — a whole week? …

• Ever wonder which of those preseason college football magazines you see at the supermarkets as early as JUNE actually comes the closest to getting it right with their crystal-ball predictions?

Well, we checked.

According to the name magazines — the ones that rank teams before the first pigskin is punted in practice — three of six had Louisiana State ranked No. 2, but none had Ohio State at No. 1 — or even in the top 10.

Sports Illustrated came the closest, with the Buckeyes at No. 11, while Athlon’s was second with Ohio State at No. 12.

Ah, but overestimating minds think alike: All seven name preseason mag-rags had Southern California at No. 1. However, the Trojans were ranked only seventh in the prebowl season BCS standings released Sunday. …

• For purely personal reasons, our boss is thrilled that Hawaii will be helmet-hammerin’ with Georgia in the Sugar Bowl on New Year’s Day.

Last week, when he had the Warriors ranked fourth — before Oklahoma’s win over No. 1 Missouri vaulted the Sooners past them — Georgia fans were inundating him with e-mails about how dumb he was to have a “mediocre” Hawaii team ranked so high.

“Now we’ll see who eats their words,” big bossman says smugly.

Or, if a Hawk eats crow. …

• The UNLV football team made a surprise appearance Saturday at the Las Vegas Marathon’s prerace Santa Run on Fremont Street. What a giving gesture for charity.

The bad news? They ran only 9 yards — for fear of picking up a first down. …

• In accordance with journalistic total disclosure — or maybe under the heading of “too much information?” — at our weight, the only time we run is from the Barcalounger to the head and back on commercial breaks during NFL games. …

• Ah, yes, the NFL — and broadcasts, thereof.

What started decades ago with pregame and halftime shows of a host and an analyst or two now has blown up to where newcomer NBC has everybody who has ever worked for the Peacock breaking down games or doing goofy segments on their Sunday night broadcasts.

Yo, NBC, we’ll turn the volume back up when “Saturday Night Live’s” Weekend Update team of Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers are given a segment. …

• We don’t mean to brag — we LIE! — but our esteemed boss has gone 9-1 the past two weekends in the Review-Journal NFL Challenge, with his lone loss coming at the fumbling hands of the Denver Broncos and their suddenly clueless coach, Mike Shana-“hands-off the play-calling,” who lost as 31/2-point road favorites Sunday at the Oakland Raiders.

Not just NOT covered the spread, mind you, but lost outright — 34-20, with 14 of those Raiders points coming off two Broncos fumbles (not to mention another 10 coming off two Denver interceptions)!

After his horrendous play-calling late in an overtime loss to Chicago a week earlier — a game which we called correctly, by the way — and his apparent inability to get his team prepared to play, it’s time for Shanahan to take his dour, ruddy complexion elsewhere. …

• A tip of the ol’ sweat-stained ball cap to longtime Las Vegas resident Dick Williams, 78, for being elected Monday to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

A long overdue honor for a true baseball man. Thankfully, it’s not being done posthumously.

Joe Hawk’s “Rants & Raves” column is published Tuesday. He can be reached at (702) 387-2912 or jhawk@reviewjournal.com.