Three Up, Three Down: Revised Mountain West needs name change; I’m here to help
With Hawaii officially having rubbed more salt in the gaping wound of what once was the Western Athletic Conference, the Mountain West got a little Mountain Westier on Friday.
By 2012, the Mountain West will look 40 percent different during football season with the addition of the WAC Pack (Boise State, UNR, Fresno State and Hawaii) and the subtraction of Utah, Brigham Young and Texas Christian. It will look 33 percent different during basketball season because Hawaii will play hoops and nonrevenue sports nobody cares about (except when the New Mexico and BYU women get together on the soccer pitch and hair-pulling ensues) in the Big West.
If Houston joins the Mountain West, scheduling will become more convoluted and you’ll have to do your own percentages.
I propose the Mountain West adopt a new identity because this new incarnation of the old WAC looks nothing like the old Mountain West the other former WAC members formed 11 years ago. Besides, Billy Packer still thinks it’s called “The Big Mountain,” and though Packer has been replaced on CBS by Clark Kellogg, he still knows people.
Review-Journal sports editor Joe Hawk has suggested “Majestic West Conference,” and he may be onto something. The Mountain West wouldn’t even need to change out the monogrammed bath towels.
Actually, Joe suggested the name Majestic West 11 years ago, but it fell on deaf ears, as do most things suggested by sports writers.
So I’m sure there’s absolutely no way the new and improved (cough) Mountain West would consider these alternative nom de plumes:
■ The Conference Formerly Known as WAC
■ The Average 10
■ Conference M.I.A.
■ Even Colder Pizza
■ At Least the UNR Game Will Be On Television Conference
■ Thompson’s Folly
■ Boise State and the Nine Dwarfs
■ The League of Ordinary Gentlemen
■ No BCS Soup for You
■ Heath Schroyer and the P-Funk All-Stars
■ The Big Least
■ Still Better Than the NFC West
■ Hawaii Five-0, New Mexico 0-Five
■ Mountain Dew Dew
■ KFC Yum! Conference
■ The Little Conference That Could (Had TCU and the Rest of ‘Em Only Stayed)
■ The WSBWRDMIWYCCBC. (We’re Sorry BYU, We Really Didn’t Mean It, Would You Consider Coming Back Conference.)
■ The Check Your Local Listings Conference
THREE UP
■ WALKIN’ IN THE ORLEANS: I’m sure there was a good reason UNLV was playing San Francisco at the Thomas & Mack Center instead of Kansas or Florida in the Las Vegas Invitational at the Orleans Arena across town a few years back. And it’s probably just coincidence the Rebels will be playing in next year’s LVI (rumored opponents include South Carolina, North Carolina and Southern California) for the first time. And it’s probably just another coincidence that positive coincidences seem to be on the upswing since Jim Livengood came on board as UNLV athletic director.
■ AARYN IT OUT: Former Bishop Gorman standout Aaryn Ellenberg scored 34 points in Oklahoma’s 95-84 loss at No. 6 Ohio State, missing the Sooners’ freshman scoring record (held by All-American Courtney Paris) by two points. Ellenberg is averaging 18.3 points for the 11th-ranked Oklahoma women (8-1), which is some serious sweepin’ down the plain.
■ ALL ABOARD: When the New York Jets were turned down by a conductor — free-agent safety Keith Fitzhugh said he’d rather keep his job with the Norfolk Southern Railroad than get toasted by Tom Brady — they went out and signed a Locomotive — Isaiah Trufant of the United Football League’s Las Vegas Locomotives. Somewhere Dick “Night Train” Lane is smiling.
THREE DOWN
■ CARDINAL SIN: The Rebels were up nine in the second half at Louisville on Saturday morning … I sneezed … and then they were down 12. I’m thinking they should have played a box-and-one defense on that Preston Knowles guy, provided the one was The Toxic Avenger or Iron Man.
■ SKINS GAME: Blog post on the website of the Lingerie Football League, which will hold its championship game Feb. 6 at the Thomas & Mack Center and has awarded Las Vegas a franchise for 2011: “The game between the Seattle Mist and Dallas Desire has been canceled due to potentially inclement weather … (and) the league not wanting to risk serious injury in a meaningless game played between two 0-3 teams.” No, a meaningless game will be played today between two 3-9 teams, the Broncos and the Cardinals. There is no such thing as a meaningless Lingerie Football League game. Not when draft choices are at stake and Tonya Harding is back in the gym.
■ CARDINAL SIN REDUX: But if you see Arizona quarterback Derek Anderson and offensive lineman Deuce Lutui smirking on the sideline today, it might be because Tim Tebow just ran onto the field wearing the throwback uniform of the Denver Dream.
Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ron Kantowski can be reached at rkantowski@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0352.
