Gladiators, not even worth good punch line, ought to move

This is what it must feel like for David Letterman when a president’s term ends or no more rehab centers are willing to admit Britney Spears. Comedy becomes tougher to generate.

What was once always good for laughs instead converts to old, tired, useless dribble.

Speaking of the Gladiators …

Embarrassing long ago morphed into pathetic for how absentee owner Jim Ferraro runs his Arena Football League franchise, which earlier this month hired its fourth head coach in five years and is searching for its fourth general manager since the team relocated from New Jersey in 2002.

Sam Jankovich recently departed that post after one season, with Ferraro calling the move “a mutual decision.” Either that, or Jankovich finally accepted the mutually popular opinion Ferraro has no idea what he’s doing.

“What you need there is definitely local ownership,” Jankovich said this week. “People who can get things done in that town, who know other people that can get things done in terms of sponsorship and marketing.”

Offering a large stake in the team to one or several local parties with sufficient capital and connections would be the intelligent thing for Ferraro to do, which means we’re counting on it happening just after an expansive shopping center is built in the middle of Red Rock Canyon.

In fact, whispers around AFL circles insist Ferraro (who couldn’t be reached for sensible comment or screaming match Wednesday) wants to move his team again, this time to Cleveland. It makes sense for him on several fronts: First, Ferraro then would have to not travel only 1,086 miles from Florida to miss home games instead of the 2,185 he often didn’t trek here.

Second, the farther Ferraro is from Las Vegas, the more distance he could create from that $56,000 — and climbing — unpaid bill he owes the Thomas & Mack Center when he moved games last season to the Orleans Arena, where officials have their own contract with the owner and understandably are concerned they’re dealing with a weird bird.

Third, it might explain why the team’s local offices are more vacant of breathing souls than a cemetery and its official Web site last was updated with fresh news in June.

Which, you have to figure, makes new coach Mike Wilpolt feel all warm and fuzzy and welcome.

“The league is concerned with the performance of the Gladiators,” said Chris McCloskey, senior vice president of communications for the AFL. “Not necessarily on the field, because that’s strictly competition. More off the field.

“The Gladiators’ (situation) is something we’ll be addressing in the next few weeks. But we continue to believe Las Vegas is a very good market for us.”

An AFL Board of Directors meeting is scheduled next month in Chicago, when any league owner worth his fat wallet politely but firmly should suggest Ferraro seek local partners in Las Vegas or — better yet — sell the team outright to someone who can find the Orleans from the airport without directions.

Fact is, Ferraro would need a three-fourths majority vote of his peers to again relocate, not likely given how fond rich owners are of this city as an AFL destination and the fact they already allowed him to move once.

Selling is an option. The going rate for an AFL team is $20 million. Might I suggest until a casino or other large corporation decides it would be fun to dabble in the AFL business and Ferraro tires of playing the role of pro sports owner and finds a new toy to occupy his time, all those remaining diehard Gladiators fans begin collecting donations.

I know you’re out there and have the two e-mails to prove it.

“I met with (Ferraro) on numerous occasions and discussed all the issues people are concerned about,” said Wilpolt, a finalist for the head coaching job three years ago who amazingly wanted to pursue it again. “Jim has made a commitment financially to hire me and to allow me to spend the money to hire a staff of very good AFL coaches, a commitment that they haven’t made in the past.

“I believe it will work.”

Wilpolt seems like a nice fellow and certainly has capable AFL credentials, but excuse us for not embracing his optimism.

What was once funny became stupid the minute it nearly took both hands to count the number of coaches and general managers Ferraro has run through since arriving here.

This stinks. The day we live in a society where such an elevated level of incompetence makes it no longer enjoyable to make fun of Ferraro and the Gladiators, well, what’s the point of going on?

Ed Graney’s column is published Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. He can be reached at 383-4618 or egraney@reviewjournal.com.