Bogus fight countdown good for laugh

The clock struck midnight and I began my pursuit.

There was a movie on called "Donnie Darko," about some troubled teenager plagued by visions of a large rabbit, but I’d seen that look come across Mike Sanford’s face every time someone mentioned Colin Kaepernick, so I passed.

"Quigley Down Under" was available, too, but when you’ve seen Tom Selleck in "Mr. Baseball," how can such a performance be topped?

The Mtn. apparently chose between a replay of any New Mexico football game last season or "The Best of Soul Train," and opted for Chuck, Aretha and Marvin. Smart decision. The songs were fresher and more modern than anything the Lobos played.

In purposefully avoiding a conference call by Top Rank promoter Bob Arum minutes after Saturday morning arrived, I hoped to find the most boring option television offered to prove a point.

It was sure to be more suspenseful than anything Arum said.

Point proven.

Just when you think boxing can’t find more mindless ways to self promote, some contrived countdown was held to determine whether Floyd Mayweather Jr. would adhere to a deadline for fighting Manny Pacquiao in November.

Because, you know, Mayweather is always so beholden to the demands of others.

(Although the countdown clock on the Top Rank website was a nice touch. I’m sure Little Floyd was glued to his computer all Friday watching it, sweating each second at the possibility he might not reach Arum before midnight and the pumpkin would instead be filled with plaster and carved to resemble Antonio Margarito.)

Mayweather and Pacquiao will fight. Maybe not this year. Maybe not until May. But there is a reason Mayweather’s nickname is "Money," and he’s not going to end his career leaving tens of millions of it on a table.

Tell you what — if Pacquiao wins, you most likely can be assured of a rematch and even more boatloads of the green stuff being handed both fighters.

Who knows why Mayweather wants to wait. Maybe a report in the Grand Rapids Press is dead on and a fighter who previously had a federal tax lien go unresolved for more than a year would prefer to claim the $50 million or $60 million he would make fighting Pacquiao in 2011 instead of now.

Maybe, as many have surmised, he is awaiting the fate of his trainer and uncle, Roger, who is set to stand trial Aug. 2 on battery charges.

Which, of course, has a chance to be better than even a Mayweather-Pacquiao fight.

On the small chance an attorney would allow Roger Mayweather to take the stand in his own defense given it’s not sure how often court reporters can type (bleep) without losing focus, we could be talking the greatest cross-examination since Vincent Gambini scorched the eyewitness who lost track of time when cooking his grits. This would be standing-room only stuff.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s this simple: The next time Mayweather Jr. is dictated to do anything by anyone will be when his entourage of enablers is reduced to single digits.

The only surprise about Saturday’s deadline was that Mayweather’s side didn’t release his denial in the form of a news release, because the fighter seemingly can’t do anything without his public-relations arm notifying all media.

Of course a deadline is needed for contracts to be signed if the fight is to take place this year. Of course both sides would need ample time to properly prepare marketing strategies that would undoubtedly be overly narcissistic and flamboyant.

But when you have a conference call minutes after midnight and in one breath say you are moving ahead with negotiations for alternate matchups and in the next that the Mayweather fight could still occur in November if Floyd comes to the table in the next 10 days or so, the whole countdown thing appears sillier than, well, it did all along.

The fight eventually will happen because too much money stands to be made for both sides and it’s the only thing boxing fans want to see, even it means waiting through Pacquiao-Margarito or — heaven forbid — Pacquiao-Miguel Cotto again.

It has been reported most of the significant particulars for Pacquiao-Mayweather are done. The purse split. The drug-testing protocol. Everything seems on track other than it not being on track.

No matter. It’s going to happen, because if the day ever comes when Floyd Mayweather Jr. walks away from this kind of payday, then conference calls at midnight at 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. and whenever you could get people to participate would be more than acceptable.

Until then, I’ll opt for something with actual suspense.

I’m guessing there is an episode of "Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch" on somewhere.

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ed Graney can be reached at egraney@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-4618.