COMMENTARY: Preparing for 2025 with a positive state of mind

It would be easy to argue against making New Year’s resolutions. They’re hard to keep and, often, too narrow in focus. In a rapidly changing world, why would we think that something we value in January will still hold true in June?

Yet, despite those risks, my 2025 New Year’s resolution feels instinctive and solid. A little background is required.

My parents supported their family through a small corner grocery store. As their children, we were the unpaid hired hands who would do odd jobs to help my parents and assist customers in whatever ways they asked.

My parents were the kind of grocers one could only dream of having. Kind, generous, willing to let customers buy on credit, willing to hear them share way more information about their lives than my parents truthfully wanted to hear. The attitude at Utica Grocery was summed up in an edict my father frequently told us: “What goes around, comes around.”

By this, he meant if we treated people with respect and dignity, we could expect the same back. Be kind, and people will be kind to us. Be charitable, and people will extend a helping hand. It was what my parents modeled daily, and we, as their children, learned.

So why, in 2025, am I hearing my dad’s message so loudly? I fear it is because of what we’ve become. We seem very me-centered. We’ve grown cynical. Generosity of spirit — helping people in non-material ways — can be hard to spot. Our patience continues to dwindle.

I realized I was having a “patience problem” when I recently began to learn the game of mahjong. Picking up the game was my way of preparing for some eventual retirement. It’s intended to help me connect with others when I’m not at the dog park, attending synagogue or at my desk writing. Many research studies have confirmed the value of social connections as we age.

So I’m sitting at the mahjong table, and one of the players is taking a very long time to choose which tiles to drop. In fairness to him, he was a chief financial officer and is preternaturally precise and strategic in thinking through his moves. But now, our mahjong game has slowed to a crawl.

I become antsy. While I could have engaged in self-talk and said, “Everyone is learning, and everyone’s pace is different. Cool your jets,” I didn’t do that.

Instead, I said, “Jack, you know we learn by making mistakes, so don’t be afraid to make some. Plus, we have only 20 more minutes. At this rate, we might not finish the game.” The other two players at the table smiled when I said this. They were getting impatient, too, but they had more self-restraint.

I parked this observation about my impatience until later when I thought back to my dad, who epitomized patience and kindness. Even better, on issues far more consequential than playing mahjong, my dad had a habit of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Were he sitting at the mahjong table, I can imagine my dad saying, “I bet Jack is going to teach us something really important. We’re lucky he’s so thoughtful.”

Imagine that? Imagine having the instinct to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’s a far cry from our world today, where we brood about people gaming the system or feel despair about hypocritical leaders, or wonder whether scientists still offer objective truth. The list is endless, and the mental toll it takes to be on the lookout for behavior we can call out is deflating.

Maybe my dad was onto something. Changing our lens and viewing the world with a bigger heart and a more open mind can yield positive effects.

We might find that when we give people the benefit of the doubt, they live up to our expectations. And giving really is more fun than receiving. Optimism might become a new norm, and along with it might come better mental health, more resilience and an overall improved quality of life.

All I had to do was remind myself of my father’s words:

“What goes around, comes around.”

And just like that, my 2025 resolution is born. Lead with positivity and kindness, and it will help me believe in our future, in what may become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Jill Ebstein is the editor of the “At My Pace” series of books and the founder of Sized Right Marketing, a consulting firm. She wrote this for InsideSources.com.