Professor helps explain why woman would resume relationship with abuser

It took courage for Rebeccah Murray to go public with her allegations against Family Court Judge Nicholas Del Vecchio. She had to know people would inevitably ask: If he sexually abused her when she was 14, why did she go to work for him when she was 24?

Del Vecchio allegedly abused Murray between the ages of 14 and 16, during the time the then-attorney was involved with and sometimes married to her mother, Imogene Serrano, according to the complaint filed with the Judicial Discipline Commission.

So why work for him and put yourself in a position to again be exploited? When the family court judge hired her as his executive assistant in 2002, he soon made it clear that sex with him was part of the job description, according to the 38-count complaint.

She acquiesced, just as she had when she was 14.

In 2004, she wanted to stop, he agreed, but two years later, he wanted to resume. She said no, and stuck to it. In May 2006, she filed a sexual harassment complaint against him with the county.

Today, she’s a law school graduate, works as a law clerk and was described to me as “bright, aggressive, outspoken at times” and “very intelligent, very even keeled, somebody that’s going to end up being a very good lawyer.”

I don’t know her, and she didn’t respond to an interview request.

Alexis Kennedy, an assistant professor at UNLV’s Criminal Justice Department with a degree in forensic psychology with an expertise in child abuse, sexual assault and sex abuse, helped explain why someone would start such a relationship and then resume it a decade later. She read the complaint but spoke in generalities, not specifically about this relationship.

“You’re looking up to a person with authority, or someone who provides love. Sometimes stopping the abuse stops the relationship,” Kennedy said.

“We all made bad decisions in our 20s, following the wrong guy,” she said. “Our confidence and decision-making as young women in our early 20s isn’t what it would be when we are older and more confident.”

The complaint alleged one reason Murray yielded to Del Vecchio’s demands was that he sided with her after her mother threatened to go to the police and file statutory rape charges when Murray was 14 and involved with an 18-year-old boyfriend. She allegedly agreed to nude modeling sessions with Del Vecchio when she was 16 so that he would continue to support her mother.

“We all put up with a lot of guff from our families,” Kennedy said. She called it “traumatic bonding” and said it’s the same reason women stay with abusive husbands and prostitutes stay with pimps. “It’s the life you know.”

“We also do jobs we don’t like because it’s easier than finding a new one,” Kennedy said when asked why someone wouldn’t leave a situation similar to Murray’s.

Like me, she agreed it took courage for Murray to file a complaint, knowing it would go public. “It takes a lot of strength to share this personal information,” Kennedy said.

Another compelling question was one court officials had to answer: Are there no anti-nepotism guidelines in the court system?

There are, but judges don’t necessarily have to abide by them. Judges are elected officials, and they can hire three at-will employees: a bailiff, an executive assistant and a law clerk.

Court Administrator Chuck Short said he discourages judges from hiring relatives, but he can’t forbid it. “With Rebeccah, she was never legally adopted by Judge Del Vecchio, and the marriage had ended with the mom.”

Murray’s mother worked as a law clerk for another family court judge in 2005, and one count in the complaint alleged Del Vecchio made sexual remarks and sought to resume a sexual relationship with her.

While the judicial canons address avoiding the appearance of impropriety, the judges have to make that decision, Short said.

There are 10 to 20 sets of employees among the 800 court employees who are related by blood or marriage, Short said. In the rest of the court system, a family member is not allowed to supervise another family member.

Judges, however, decide for themselves whether their hires are decisions of merit, or just old-fashioned nepotism and cronyism. Obviously, some make better decisions than others.

Jane Ann Morrison’s column appears Monday, Thursday and Saturday. E-mail her at Jane@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0275.