Forced conversion to newfangled TV challenges old-style sensibilities

Vladimir Putin has never sent an e-mail. Now, the Russian president is 55 and still has a job. How can he get through his workday without using e-mail? How do you get to be Time magazine’s Person of the Year without using e-mail?

In the lengthy articles explaining that he deserved the recognition because of the stability he has brought to his country, Putin’s reluctance to use modern technology was the quirk that niggled at me.

Putin told Time: “I don’t even use a telephone. My staff do it for me.”

Is the former KGB officer afraid of … technology?

I started to feel a little superior, until I remembered that I’m apprehensive about buying a new television set. The 19-incher I use relies on an antenna. It wasn’t that long ago when the 15-year-old Panasonic relied on rabbit ears. No cable. No satellite. It hasn’t broken down yet, although sometimes watching the news, I do want to channel Elvis and shoot the screen out. But I refrain.

A few years ago when Blockbuster Video betrayed its name and stopped carrying videos, switching to DVDs, I thought seriously about getting a new television system, one that could handle both videos and DVDs. But I never actually went to a store to buy one. Because then I would be faced with a no-win choice. Do I try to set it up myself and spend hours in frustration? Or do I look dumber than a brick by admitting I can’t set up a television and impose on a friend, like I’ve done in the past?

What would Putin do? Oh, that’s right. Staff.

Well, I don’t have staff. I have only friends.

And now I face government pressure. The government is forcing me, and millions like me, to make unwanted advances. Presumably for my own good.

The Digital Television Transition and Public Safety Act of 2005 is forcing my hand. As of Feb. 17, 2009, if I want to watch television on the trusty Panasonic, I’ll need a converter box.

The government wants to help fogies like me, and starting Tuesday (New Year’s Day, when all government offices are closed) it will offer a program to help underwrite the conversion.

All U.S. citizens are eligible to receive up to two $40 coupons to purchase digital-to-analog converter boxes. Such converter boxes are expected to cost between $50 and $70.

Information about the digital conversion is available at www.dtvtransition.org, a Web site that’s easy to use if you have a computer. If you’re so out of it that you’re not sure whether your television is analog or digital, it helps you figure out that question, too. Another good Web site is www.dtv.gov. It warned me that despite the mandated change, analog TVs still will be for sale, so don’t go buy one thinking you’ve done the right thing in buying a new TV only to find you’ve bought the wrong kind. You know somebody will make that mistake.

For non-computer types, throughout 2008 newspapers and magazines will continue to write more detailed articles about what you need to do before Feb. 17, 2009. May I suggest that if you don’t have computer access, you might want to save some of those articles.

Decisions, decisions. Converter box or new television? Is it finally time for cable or a satellite dish? Keep the old television that works just fine, or get a new system with bells and whistles?

The Wall Street Journal warned recently that a fancy new flat-screen television could add nearly $200 to a family’s annual energy bill. “That Giant Sucking Sound May Be Your New TV” the headline screamed (although do any Wall Street Journal headlines really scream?). Anyway, energy costs are also something to think about if you’re on a limited budget.

The government promises that my viewing experience will be enhanced, but I am evolving on a kicking and screaming basis. And I doubt that I’m alone.

But it comforts me that the leader of Russia would be just like me, lost in the technology maze. At least I know how to send an e-mail, even if I can’t run a country.

Jane Ann Morrison’s column appears Monday, Thursday and Saturday. E-mail her at Jane@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0275.