Adoptive, foster parents always in demand

It’s a joke in the Howard household that they look like the United Nations.

“Except we are missing quite a few,” said Beth Howard.

Her family has grown with her own children, adopted children and foster children crossing ethnic and cultural lines.

But they don’t see each other any differently.

“They see each other as brothers and sisters,” she said. “We are a transracial family.”

According to the Clark County Department of Family Services, there is always a need for foster and adoptive parents.

There were 603 adoptions in 2012.

The Howards have adopted three from foster care and are fostering one more.

“My goal is 12. I’m not going to lie,” Howard said.

Growing up, Howard was introduced to the concept of adoption through a childhood friend.

“My best friend was adopted and had this beautiful fairy tale story,” she said. “I always knew I wanted to be an adoptive mother. Thankfully, I married a man who was OK with doing that as well.”

When their youngest child was in kindergarten, they applied to be foster parents, open to the possibility to adopt — the hope of fostering a child is that the children could eventually be reunited with their parents.

“Our first placement was three days before Christmas,” Howard said.

At just 5 months old, Samson was a quiet baby.

“I think he had been neglected so bad that he didn’t cry,” she said.

He was eventually adopted and was just the first for the family.

When looking into a prospective parent, Judy Tudor, a manager with the Department of Family Services, said she looks into an applicant’s financial background, requests a background check through the Federal Bureau of Investigation, a physical and at least two home visits.

“Honestly, it’s a really intrusive process,” she said.

Depending on the applicant’s time frame, gathering all the information could take between three and six months.

Howard said in her cases, the overall process has taken between 18 and 24 months.

“There is no way to predict what’s going to happen,” she said.

The process is open for all to apply regardless of age, ethnic background or sexual orientation, Tudor said.

She added that she often gets people who just want a healthy baby and don’t realize there is a need to adopt older children of a mixture of ethnic backgrounds and life situations.

“I think people come in and have this unrealistic expectation,” she said. “That’s why we are educating people. There may not be a Caucasian baby with no health concerns. But there is a great 6-year-old who needs a home, or a 12-year-old.”

Some children have problems such as side effects from their mother’s alcohol or drug abuse during the pregnancy.

Howard said her children have experienced different amounts of trauma.

“However, being adopted itself could be trauma enough,” she added. “People don’t realize that adoption comes from some terrible loss and you have to walk (children) through the grieving process.”

About adopting older children, Howard said people need to understand the situation.

“(Older children) didn’t spend their formative years learning right from wrong or what not to take,” she said. “They learned survival skills.”

She added that being their parent isn’t just about providing food, clothing or shelter.

“You’re reteaching them about trust,” she said.

Another challenge, Tudor said, is keeping siblings together who are in the system.

“One of the things mandated by law is to try every attempt to keep the siblings together,” she said.

It can be challenging when the department has seen sibling groups with six, seven, eight or nine children.

“And the age ranges from babies to adolescents, so it’s very difficult,” she said.

Often, Tudor said, the department will host special recruitment events to try to attract the right applicants who are capable of the task.

Howard was able to be a foster parent and later adopt Samson’s sister, Jemma, who was born when Samson was about a year old.

Along the way, Howard didn’t realize how many resources were available to help adoptive parents such community groups to connect with others with similar stories.

“There is a network of families,” she said. “We all celebrate and mourn the ups and downs of the system.”

The department also provides financial assistance for parents who adopt children with special needs.

Howard said it is one of the hardest things she has done, but holding her baby up and looking at her face, she couldn’t imagine any other life.

“It is absolutely worth it,” she said.

Contact Henderson/Anthem View reporter Michael Lyle at mlyle@viewnews.com or 702-387-5201