To decorate or not to decorate. That is the question

DEAR DESIGNER: My children are grown and live in various parts of the world. They won’t be visiting me this year for the holidays. I am planning to leave town for a few days in December and I’m pulled between my lifelong tradition of decorating my home for the season and the more practical (work) side of it. I feel guilty if I don’t make the effort, but I’m not sure I want to go to the trouble. What will my friends and family think? Do you have any magical secrets to help me through my quandary? — Mable.

DEAR MABLE: What? You don’t want to decorate for the holidays? I heard that response the one year I chose not to put up a Christmas tree. Well, I’m here to assure you that all the other reindeer won’t laugh and call you names if you don’t decorate your home for this holiday season. Can you believe that a decorator just said those words?

People choose to decorate for many reasons. You mentioned two common motives: tradition and children. Most of our holiday traditions stem from our religious beliefs. Whether we celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Bodhi Day or simply celebrate Santa Claus, we do it by decorating. We decorate to show we remember, we decorate to lift our spirits, we decorate to show respect and we decorate to teach our children our beliefs as we celebrate with them so the traditions continue for generations to come.

Although the decorations of each belief have a different significance, we share some common customs when it comes to holiday decorating. We all celebrate with candles, various ornaments, wreathes and delectable food.

Many times when I am faced with a design question from a client, I answer it for myself before I try to answer it for my client. For example, if you were to ask me if your carpet needed to be replaced, I would ask myself, “If this was my home, would I replace the carpet? Why or why not?” This approach gives me a realistic set of options that I can communicate to my clients so they can make informed decisions.

For your question Mable, I did the same. My husband and I live in Las Vegas and our children live in two parts of the country. So, I can relate to your dilemma. These are the questions I would ask myself:

1. Will the pleasure I get from seeing my holiday decorations around the house outweigh the agony of getting the decorations down from the attic, dusting them off and putting them up?

2. Will someone else get to enjoy my decorations this year? Do I plan to host any holiday dinners this year?

3. Will I need to buy anything new for my decorating this year?

4. Is there a new way to decorate that won’t be as much work? Could I be content to display some candles and hang a wreath, and forgo the tree?

This fourth question can be a good solution to a quandary such as yours. By lowering your decorating expectations and by placing a few of your favorite decorations around, you can enjoy the essence of the season without wearing yourself thin.

Candles and candy are easy to set around your home. Some candles have holiday smells exploding from them before they are lit. Potpourri doused with evergreen is another easy way to heighten the senses.

Add a holiday table runner to your dining room table or a tablecloth to your kitchen table for a daily reminder of this special season. Pick up a holiday dish towel or hand towels for your bath. And your largest decoration this year can be a simple wreath on your door. A welcoming wreath will radiate warmth as others pass or approach your home. Whether you decorate big or small, decorate with purpose.

To some it is not a question of whether to decorate or not. Some will find the mere question an insult to their belief system. But, we all come from different backgrounds and move through life, changing like the seasons as we age, and are faced with different circumstances. If you were adamant about decorating for the holidays when you were in your 20s and now you are in your 60s and no longer have a desire to do it, you have that right, without guilt. It’s good to re-evaluate our traditions from time to time, take account and learn to change with the seasons of life.

I give my unofficial permission to not decorate, but you must do this without guilt. Or, decorate big or small. Choose the solution that gives you and your family the most joy.

As for me, my husband and I are going to put up the tree, hang a wreath on our door and set around some great smelling candles. We do it for the memories; we do it for the cheer factor. When I walk into my holiday living room, an uncontrollable smile sweeps over my face and a sense of joy envelops my soul as I take in the soft twinkling glow of the tree lights and the wonderful fragrances of the season.

No matter what you decide to do with the décor of your home during this festive season, I wish you peace of mind and spirit and the happiest of holidays!

Cindy Payne is a certified interior designer with more than 25 years of experience, as well as a licensed contractor. E-mail questions to her at deardesigner@projectdesigninteriors.com or send them to her at Project Design Interiors, 2620 S. Maryland Parkway, Suite 189, Las Vegas, NV 89109. She can be reached online at www.projectdesigninteriors.com.