Employ love, respect when moving parents in

"To serve is beautiful, but only if it is done with joy and a whole heart and a free mind." Pearl S. Buck (1892-1973), American writer and Nobel Prize winner, "Men and Women, to My Daughters With Love" (1967).

Q: My husband’s parents are moving in with us and while we’re very excited about having them here and being able to help care for them, we do have questions about the best way to prepare our house and their space. Can you offer any suggestions regarding furnishings and décor to help us make this transition easier for all of us? They will be bringing some of their things and we hope to use them.

A: You are experiencing what most of us will at some point in our lives. Having parents move in with adult children is a trend that shows no signs of declining.

Even though assisted-and independent-living facilities abound and offer wonderful services, most older Americans prefer to stay in their own homes. And when that’s not possible for whatever reason, the next most popular situation is for the parents to move in with their children.

When parents are moving to a new city to be with family, or if they’re just moving out of their home and across town to their children, it is a tremendous adjustment.

Just imagine leaving your home and things of many years to move to a new place, and probably a smaller place. You now have to be the one cared for and not the caregiver, and you’re not in your own home, but in someone else’s. It has to be difficult and frightening.

Don’t ever discount the importance of your furnishings and design of your home when a transition of this type takes place. It can be the key to making everybody happier in the new living situation. While this is not everything you need to consider when moving parents, it is certainly a good beginning.

One of the key elements in the new space should be privacy. Even if the space available to the parents is just a bedroom, it should be private for them so they have a retreat when they just need to be alone. If possible, there should be a comfortable place for them to read their books and newspapers, and a comfortable place to watch their favorite TV programs. As much as you may love your parents, your preferences are no doubt different, and they should have a private place to enjoy theirs. Make sure there are comfortable chairs and proper lighting.

The bathroom should be outfitted with grab bars, and doors throughout the house could be made more user-friendly by switching out door knobs for push-down handles. Just pushing down on a handle is much easier than trying to hold and turn a knob for seniors. And their storage should be low drawers or cabinets that open easily.

In their space and yours, be sure that pathways are clear and easily maneuverable. Allow at least 36 inches between furniture. It is helpful also to move small things from the floor, like small pots, plants or other accessories.

Make sure your flooring is senior friendly, too. Remove small throw rugs and make sure area rugs are completely grounded with pads to prevent slippage. Hardwood and tile floors should be monitored to make sure there is nothing there that could cause a slip or fall.

Moving in mom and dad’s furnishings can be contentious, as well. If possible, they should bring in as many of their things for their space as possible. If the issue of putting their favorite chair or sofa into your existing living or family room comes up, you need to be very thoughtful about that request.

Many of us are familiar with the "Frasier" TV program where his dad brought his favorite recliner, duct tape and all, and it lived happily in the middle of Frasier’s newly decorated posh living room.

If you wish to incorporate your parents’ furnishings, pieces always can be recovered to match your things, or a newer version of that favorite recliner can be purchased.

This can be a wonderful experience for all of you with a little thought and a lot of love. When there is respect, comfort and safety, almost any situation can be a good one. The way you prepare your home and decorate their space will be key.

Carolyn Muse Grant is the editor of Southern Nevada Home & Garden magazine. Her Inside Spaces column appears weekly in the Home & Garden section of the Review-Journal. Check out other decorating tips in Southern Nevada Home & Garden magazine, which is published the first Saturday of each month. Send questions to cgrant@reviewjournal.com.