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See Jane Die

Jane magazine has died. The women’s glossy suffered from poor circulation and consequently relied on adjusted ad rates for life support in its final two years. Jane’s father, Condé Nast, finally pulled the plug on the 10-year-old publication in July.

But critics suspect foul play. They say Jane could have survived longer if it weren’t for her arrogant, self-important, often contradicting nature. They claim that founding editor Jane Pratt aimed the gun right between her namesake’s eyes with monthly letters from the editor that included cruel digs on former co-workers who still lived with parents and column assignments to Pamela Anderson, the presumed antithesis to Jane.

But mourning readers say Pratt’s successor, Brandon Holley, pulled the trigger. Holley tried to glam up Jane, layering her no-fuss ‘do and polishing her dirt-lined nails. The result: an ugly identity crisis played out in front of 740,000 subscribers.

Surviving editors attribute Jane’s death to unreasonable, conflicting expectations. Readers wanted an irreverent, sexually active, college-educated older sister to Sassy, the rebellious teen girl magazine. Advertisers wanted a dieting, Louis-Vuitton-toting vixen who could recite 621 ways to please her man. Editors couldn’t deliver on either front. Trying to be too many things to too many people, they say, put Jane into an irreversible depression.

May she rest in peace.

 

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