99 Words About … Lifetime’s very Vegas Christmas movie

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For her Vegas adventure, Mrs. Claus is transformed into a babe through the wonders of “magic sparkle dust.”

So Lifetime’s “Finding Mrs. Claus” (9 p.m. Sunday) makes as much sense as the channel’s other original movies.

Mira Sorvino portrays Mrs. Claus as Marilyn Monroe might have played Sarah Palin.

There’s also a little girl who just wants her concierge mother to find love, an elf with a gambling problem, and a wacky mix-up involving Santa and a hooker’s “bag of toys.”

By the time it’s over, you’d swear everyone responsible had been snorting some of that magic sparkle dust.

– CHRISTOPHER LAWRENCE