A little note about porn stars
"Queen of mean" comedian Lisa Lampanelli performs Saturday at The Pearl at the Palms — a week after hosting the porn awards on the same shiny stage.
At one point last weekend, she was surrounded by topless women as she joked: "Man, is Ellen DeGeneres gonna be pissed she skipped this event."
Afterward, Lampanelli asked me whether I noticed something about the winners of the porn awards.
"Did you notice nobody thanked God, or their parents, or even their sixth-grade teacher who molested them?" Lampanelli said.
Oh, I noticed. Porn stars thanked agents and fans, but no dads or deities.
There was only one joke of Lampanelli’s the porn audience moaned at — when she called Jesse James a bad name. He’s the guy who cheated on Sandra Bullock with Michelle "Bombshell" McGhee.
"You like him?!" Lampanelli chastised the crowd. "He slept around on America’s sweetheart with a Nazi!"
But I informed Lampanelli why the crowd moaned: Michelle Bombshell (who denies being a Nazi or a sympathizer obviously) was there, mingling amiably with porn stars.
"Oh really?" Lampanelli said. "Oops. I guess I’m getting a hate note in the future."
That’s the price of being the "queen of mean" — losing the potential friendship of Michelle "Bombshell" McGhee. Aw, so sad.
HARDY HAR HAR, HO HO
It’s a big weekend for national comedians. Jim Florentine of the "Howard Stern Radio Show" performs tonight-Saturday at Palace Station. Brian Posehn jokes at Sunset Station tonight.
And "Drew Carey’s Improv-a-ganza" runs two shows tonight-Sunday at MGM. It’s a series taping for the Game Show Network, co-starring "Whose Line Is It Anyway" friends Greg Proops, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Jeff Davis, Chip Esten, Kathy Kinney and Jonathan Mangum.
PRE-SIGHTINGS
The Vegas ladies of the Lingerie Football League will be watching the NFL playoffs 1-9 p.m. Saturday at Sporting House Bar & Grill at New York-New York. … Ray J does a birthday walk on a red carpet, with Brandy, at midnight Saturday at club Pure. … John Legend on Saturday at club Haze. … Kristin Cavallari on Saturday at club Bank. … Matt Goss adds a Sunday night show to his Caesars schedule this weekend, plus a $33 locals ticket for Sundays.
SAY WHAT?
"Clinton was metal because he didn’t give a (expletive). Clinton was Pantera. We had Pantera in the office for eight years, and nobody knew it except for me." — Comedian and rock fan Posehn on which presidents were "metal," in today’s Neon.
Doug Elfman’s column appears Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. E-mail him at delfman@ reviewjournal.com. He blogs at reviewjournal.com/elfman.
