The ultimate guide to 2024 concerts and fests in Vegas

There are a few things you seldom hear in Las Vegas these days.

“All this road construction is cool.”

“I don’t understand why people complain about paying $30 per nanosecond to park on the Strip. It beats feeding my children.”

“One thing I enjoy more than breathing? California drivers.”

Here’s one more: “Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce!”

Said exhortation is ubiquitous at concerts by The Boss (aka Springsteen, Bruce), bellowed at maximum volume by devoted fans of the Rock &Roll Hall of Famer.

But we haven’t had the pleasure of joining in this chorus for decades now, because the dude hasn’t played here in over 20 years.

That changes in two months.

On March 22, Springsteen finally performs in Vegas when he headlines T-Mobile Arena.

While technically not the biggest show on the concert schedule for 2024, it’s arguably the most anticipated, all that pent-up demand about to explode like an overinflated zeppelin.

Springsteen’s stop in town is just one of hundreds of shows on a loaded Vegas concert schedule for 2024. Here are a few dozen highlights:

Stadium shows

■ Go ahead, have a chuckle at the fact that the Rolling Stones’ latest tour is sponsored by AARP. Think you’ll be rocking as hard in your 80s as Mick Jagger and Keith Richards? We think not, guy. See them continue to paint stuff black at Allegiant Stadium on May 11.

■ Current country kingpin Morgan Wallen’s latest record, the blockbuster “One Thing at a Time,” boasts a whopping 36 tracks, every one of which made it into the Billboard Hot 100, setting a record. His two-night stand here on Aug. 8 and 9 promises to be just as epic.

■ She sold out Allegiant Stadium last year, and the adrenal-gland-incarnate that is pop superstar Pink vies to do it again Sept. 13.

■ If Wallen is country’s man of the hour currently, George Strait reigned atop the genre for decades previously. See him headline a crazy-stacked bill with Chris Stapleton and Little Big Town on Dec. 7.

More new residencies

■ Sweet piece of insider advice: “Protect Ya Neck” when one of the hip-hop’s all-time greatest groups, the Wu-Tang Clan, bombs atomically with Socrates’ philosophies and hypotheses at the Theater at Virgin Hotels Las Vegas on Feb. 9 and 10 and March 22 and 23.

■ It’s hard imagine to optic and aural deluge that will melt eyeballs and ear-holes like an enchilada left in the microwave too long when jam band greats Phish take over the Sphere from April 18 to 21. And here’s something even harder to imagine: missing these shows.

■ New jack swing has yet to grow old as evidenced by ’90s R&B troupe Jodeci, who get steamy at the House of Blues at Mandalay Bay from March 15 to 24 and July 5 to 13.

Speaking of Jodeci, they probably wouldn’t exist were it not for ’80s R&B favorites New Edition, who continue to serenade all the candy girls in the house at the Encore Theater at Wynn Las Vegas on Feb. 28 and March 1, 2, 6, 8 and 9.

Festivals for all

■ Stock up on the pomade as Las Vegas’ longest-running music fest returns for year 27 when the rockabilly-heavy Viva Las Vegas swarms The Orleans in pompadours, hot rods and vintage rock ’n’ roll from April 18 to 21.

■ After a sold-out debut, Sick New World is back with the remedy for those jonesing hard for some nu metal nostalgia with a roster headlined by returnees System of a Down in addition to Slipknot, A Perfect Circle, Alice in Chains and a wide-range of heavy acts both up-and-coming and well-established, on April 27 at the Las Vegas Festival Grounds.

■ The biggest music festival in the world returns when Electric Daisy Carnival consumes Las Vegas Motor Speedway whole via a massive maw of light and sound from May 17 to 19 with a gargantuan roster of performers to be revealed this spring.

■ Hey! Ho! Let’s go to Punk Rock Bowling’s return to the Downtown Las Vegas Events Center from May 24 to 27 featuring Madness, Devo, Descendents, Rocket from the Crypt, Gogol Bordello, Billy Bragg and plenty of others who will have you seriously sweating through your black leather jacket.

■ Blues diehards won’t be singing the blues at the Big Blues Bender, a nearly 24-hour-a-day party like few others in said genre. This year’s boss lineup features Beth Hart, Los Lobos, Tab Benoit, The Record Company and dozens more at the Westgate from Sept. 5 to 8.

■ After celebrating 10 years in 2023, downtown’s multi-genre music, arts and comedy megafest, Life is Beautiful, is back this September with dates and lineup to be announced.

■ Seventeen years ago, emotive rockers My Chemical Romance played their acclaimed third album, “The Black Parade,” in full at Orleans Arena. They’ll do so again at When We Were Young on Oct. 19 and 20 at the Las Vegas Festival Grounds. A new twist for the emo and pop-punk-leaning fest’s third year: bands such as A Day to Remember, Jimmy Eat World, Simple Plan and scads more playing some of their most celebrated albums in their entirety. Fall Out Boy co-headlines.

Arena fillers galore

■ We’ll say it now, progressive metallers Tool, whose live show is as visual as staring into a kaleidoscope for a fortnight, simply must play the Sphere at some point. Until then, see them turn frontal lobes into goo at T-Mobile Arena once again on Feb. 18.

■ Normally, a gig in a 20,000-seat arena wouldn’t be considered “intimate,” but after he packed Allegiant Stadium twice last year, “King of Latin Trap” Bad Bunny’s two-night stand at T-Mobile Arena on Feb. 23 and 24 will feel downright cozy.

■ Get into the groove — and stay there for hours — during the seven-act, 27-song performance that is Madonna’s current stage show, which encapsulates a truly one-of-a kind career on March 1 and 2 at T-Mobile Arena. Just remember to get a good stretch in first.

■ Barbie may have ruled 2023, but she has no monopoly on her signature color, as evidenced by rapper Nicki Minaj’s upcoming “Pink Friday 2 Tour,” which brightens T-Mobile Arena on March 8.

■ What’s the one thing we can never have enough of in this world? Peace? Love? Pizza? Nope! It’s art pop oddballs whose alter egos include a winged fairy creature with eyeballs on her forehead. Thank Melanie Martinez in person for giving us as much at the MGM Grand Garden on May 17.

■ Having recently earned three Grammy nods, including one for best country album, Zach Bryan rides his hot hand into a town highly beneficial to hot hands when he plays T-Mobile Arena on June 7 and 8.

■ They headlined When We Were Young last fall, now pop-punk top dogs Blink-182 head indoors to T-Mobile Arena on July 3 where songs titled after diarrhea puns will naturally have even more resonance.

■ At 76, rocker Sammy Hagar ranks high on the list of hardest-partying, most fun-loving septuagenarians. This summer, he teams up with his former Van Halen bandmate Michael Anthony as well drummer Jason Bonham and guitar great Joe Satriani to reel in the years — and perhaps a few beers — at the MGM Grand Garden on Aug. 9.

■ Get lost “Somewhere in Time” when metal legends Iron Maiden mine their 1986 album of the same name in addition to their most recent release, “Senjutsu,” on their “Future Past Tour,” which hits Michelob Ultra Arena at Mandalay Bay on Oct. 5.

Theater, club and outdoor shows

■ How do you make a guitar nerd drool like Great Dane eyeing a pyramid of cheeseburgers? Get him tix to the G3, featuring all-time-great six-stringers Steve Vai, Joe Satriani and Eric Johnson, at the International Theater at the Westgate on Jan. 27.

■ Unless you’re fan of the mighty, mighty Cleveland Browns, your team has practically no chance of winning the Super Bowl this year. So, turn that frown upside down during big game weekend by seeing blues rock badasses The Black Crowes at The Pearl at the Palms on Feb. 9 and 10.

■ Don’t let your loved ones down more than you already have in life by skipping can’t-miss indie rockers Sleater-Kinney — truly one of the best bands of their ilk over the past two decades — when they make an uber-rare Vegas appearance at Brooklyn Bowl at The Linq on Feb. 29.

■ The jam-friendly Dave Matthews Band remains capable of selling out arenas and amphitheaters around the globe. You’ll need to break out the smelling salts for DMB diehards, then, when they play the cozier confines of Dolby Live at Park MGM on March 1.

■ Last time reggae- and hip-hop-informed alt-rockers 311 hit town for their semiannual “311 Day” festivities, they played a whopping 89 songs over two nights at Dolby Live without repeating a tune. They return to the venue for another pair of marathon performances on March 9 and 10.

■ St. Patrick’s Day is typically defined by green-brew-abetted bad decisions. Balance all that by making a good decision for a change, and catch celt punks Flogging Molly’s Shamrock Rebellion beer and music festival, which also features Frank Turner &The Sleeping Souls, Buzzcocks, Amigo the Devil and others, on March 17 at the Downtown Las Vegas Events Center.

■ Just how fast does Busta Rhymes rhyme? His verbal velocity rivals that of the voice-over guy at the end of a prescription drug ad listing all the side effects at roughly 12,000 words per minute. Try to keep up when Busta hits the House of Blues on March 19.

■ “Rockit” with jazz great and electro-funk pioneer Herbie Hancock when he comes to The Pearl on April 12.

■ First, go check out Vegas’ must-visit Punk Rock Museum. Then, go see two bands featured there, seminal SoCal scene lifers Bad Religion and Social Distortion, when they team up at the Theater at Virgin Hotels Las Vegas on April 13.

■ “Belinda Says” you gotta check out coed Canadian indie popsters Alvvays, who are up for Grammy this year for best alternative music performance for the aforementioned single — when they play Brooklyn Bowl on May 11.

■ The Vikings are coming to raid and pillage the city’s beer supply when Nordic mythology-obsessed Swedish death metallers Amon Amarth top one of the best heavy music bills of the year alongside Cannibal Corpse, Obituary and Frozen Soul at The Pearl on May 24.

■ Oh, Brothers Osborne, where art thou? At The Chelsea at The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, where you can catch the country duo on their “Might as Well Be Us Tour,” on June 2.

Contact Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0476. Follow @jbracelin76 on Instagram.