Drake

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Do you find hip-hop to be a little like women, Sanskrit and the appeal of Tyler Perry films? You know, kind of hard to understand?

Well, now you can avoid those awkward moments of confusion and uncertainty when a cohort is attempting to explain to you how “fresh” and “dope” the new Jay-Z album is to your dumbfounded face.

You see, there’s this handy new book, “Understand Rap,” written by a dude from Seattle named William Buckholz, that breaks down various rap lyrics into easy-to-grasp passages.

Care for an example?

Or course you do.

First, Buckholz cites an artist, a lyric and a song.

Let’s go with Paul Wall, who raps that his “trunk bump like chicken pox” on “Sittin’ Sidewayz.”

Then, Buckholz explains what Wall is really saying: “I use onomatopoeia to liken the repetitive, thumping, low-frequency tones the speakers in the rear compartment of my vehicle are making as they reproduce a musical recording to the raised sores resulting from contagious infection of varicella zoster virus that is common during childhood.”

Helpful, huh?

So, with Drake, hip-hop’s hottest star of the moment, in town this weekend, we thought we’d take a page from Buckholz and decipher some of the MC’s lyrics so that when you go to the show you’ll be able to keep up and stuff.

You’re welcome, in advance.

Lyric: “I’ll slow roast ya, got no holster / Wet glass on ya table, no coaster,” from “Ignorant (Expletive)”

Translation: Should you make the faux pas of inciting my anger, I will achieve my comeuppance not with a firearm, but with the heated power of my words, whose force is akin to bullets fired from a gun. Moreover, I will further disrespect you by setting my drink down on your table without a protective surface-covering device, leaving behind unsightly rings of condensation.

Lyric: “Wayne put me right here, that’s who I get the paper with,” from “Fireworks”

Translation: My colleague, fellow rapper Lil Wayne, helped advance my career by bringing me on tour with him and allowing me to guest on his mixtapes, thereby enhancing my income opportunities. As such, we have earned considerable amounts of legal tender together.

Lyric: “I could relate to kids going straight to the league when they recognize that you got what it takes to succeed,” from “Thank Me Now”

Translation: Like a prodigiously talented young athlete who advances straight to the professional ranks in lieu of attending an institution of higher education, I, too, have rapidly ascended to the upper levels of my occupation.

Lyric: “I got flows for the Marilyn Monroes,” from “Thank Me Now”

Translation: My sophisticated wordplay is tailored for young women who are especially appealing to the opposite sex, hence my allusion to the deceased icon of feminine beauty.

Lyric: “Kush rolled, glass full, I prefer the better things,” from “Up All Night”

Translation: I enjoy imbibing fine adult beverages and a high-end strain of Indica cannabis that takes its name from the Hindu-Kush mountains from which it originates.

Lyric: “Black Suburban with the tint on it, fresher than a pillow with a mint on it,” from “Lust for Life”

Translation: My preferred mode of transportation, a large sports utility vehicle whose windows are ensconced in a protective UV coating, is well-cleaned and maintained.

Contact reporter Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@ reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0476.