MOVIES
Movies are rated on a letter-grade scale, from A to F. Opinions by R-J movie critic Carol Cling (C.C.) are indicated by initials. Other opinions are from wire service critics.
Motion Picture Association of America ratings:
G – General audiences, all ages.
PG – Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.
PG-13 – Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children under 13.
R – Restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or guardian.
NC-17 – No one under 17 admitted.
NR – Not rated.
ARE WE DONE YET?
(D) Put a fork in this “Are We There Yet?” sequel, as Nick Persons (Ice Cube) falls into his own personal money pit when he and his pregnant wife (Nia Long) and her two kids move to a dream home, which proceeds to fall apart. This alleged comedy, supposedly based on “Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House,” has about as much to do with that frothy Cary Grant confection as a Yugo has to do with a 1948 Buick Roadster. Both are vehicles. Both eventually reach a destination. The question is, what kind of ride are you looking for? (92 min.) PG; brief profanity and sexual innuendo.
BLADES OF GLORY
(C+) After spoofing soccer and NASCAR, Will Ferrell goes for the gold as an arrogant figure skater who teams with a flamboyant rival (“Napoleon Dynamite’s” Jon Heder) to shake up the pairs division when they’re both barred from solo competition. Like “Zoolander” with a Zamboni, this dumb-with-a-capital-D goofball farce takes its (almost) fleshed-out sketch-comedy idea as far as an ice-skating buddy movie with we’re-not-gay jokes and a psycho stalker can go. Which isn’t that far. (94 min.) PG-13; crude and sexual humor, profanity, comic violent image, drug references.
THE CONDEMNED
(D) Guilty as charged: The wrestler formerly known as “Stone Cold” Steve Austin stars as one of 10 death-row inmates dropped on a remote island essentially to kill each other while millions watch on the Internet. If the filmmakers had simply concentrated on blood, bullets, bone-crunching and great balls of fire, this action workout wouldn’t have been a good movie — but it would have been better than this bombastic twaddle, which celebrates the gratuitous violence it so self-righteously pretends to condemn. (114 min.) R; pervasive strong brutal violence, profanity. (C.C.)
DEEP SEA 3D
(B) Get up close and personal with ocean wildlife, unveiled in the reach-out-and-touch weirdness of Imax 3D at the Luxor. This giant-screen documentary introduces exotic denizens of the deep so extravagantly extraterrestrial, nothing created by Hollywood’s special effects labs could possibly compete. (40 min.) G; all ages.
DINOSAURS 3D: GIANTS OF PATAGONIA
(B+) Now at Luxor’s Imax theater, this bang-up excursion traces the evolution — and extinction — of giant prehistoric beasts that rip each other’s faces off in thrilling computer-generated segments showcasing species we didn’t see in “Jurassic Park.” Paleontologist Rodolfo Coria proves a most congenial tour guide, while Donald Sutherland’s droll narration emphasizes a quality that’s all but extinct in large-format documentaries: humor. (40 min.) NR; very large, very loud dinosaurs.
DISTURBIA
(B-) Think of “Rear Window” with digital equipment and front lawns and you’ll know what to expect from this spirited, smart-alecky suspense thriller in which an eavesdropping teen (Shia LaBeouf) tries to figure out if the soft-spoken bachelor (David Morse) next door is a cold-blooded killer. So what if you can see every plot twist bearing down like a rush-hour commuter express? “Disturbia” still boasts a scrappy charm. (104 min.) PG-13; sequences of terror and violence, sexual references.
FIGHTER PILOT
(B) Wild blue yonder: Nellis Air Force Base zooms into the giant-screen spotlight with this Imax documentary, now at the Luxor, focusing on Red Flag combat training exercises. The midair sequences are almost sickeningly exhilarating, but the on-the-ground portions seem plodding and earthbound. (48 min.) NR; all ages.
FIREHOUSE DOG
(B) After a botched stunt, Hollywood’s top dog, the pampered canine star of “Jurassic Bark” and “The Fast and the Furrious” is presumed dead — but has really been adopted by a single firefighter’s sullen son in a family-friendly tail (oops, make that tale) that’s really the canine version of “Doc Hollywood” anchored by moving performances by veteran Bruce Greenwood and “Bridge to Terabithia’s” Josh Hutcherson. (111 min.) PG; action peril, mild crude humor and profanity.
FRACTURE
(C+) A calculating tycoon (Anthony Hopkins, who could play this role in his sleep) shoots his adulterous wife at point-blank range, confesses to the crime — and is determined to keep his cocky prosecutor (a mannered Ryan Gosling) off guard — in a slick but empty battle-of-wits thriller that once again proves “howdunits” are seldom as compelling as “whodunits.” True to its title, cracks begin to appear the minute you look too closely at “Fracture,” a movie that wants desperately to be clever — but turns out to be distressingly routine. (112 min.) R; violence, profanity, sexual references. (C.C.)
GHOST RIDER
(D) Crash-and-burn: Motorcycle stunt superstar Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage) makes a deal with the devil, becoming a demonic bounty hunter in a Marvel Comics adaptation that’s an unholy melding of religious mumbo-jumbo to motorcycle worship, Western folklore, father-son psychology, and Elvis Lives wish fulfillment. (110 min.) PG-13; horror violence, disturbing images.
GRINDHOUSE
(B-) Velveeta underground: Directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez team for a two-in-one tribute to vintage cinematic schlock. Rodriguez’s “Planet Terror” charts an alien plague that strikes a Texas town, with a sharpshooter (Freddy Rodriguez) and his dream girl, a go-go dancer with a machine-gun leg (Rose McGowan), leading the human defenders; Tarantino’s “Death Proof” focuses on a grizzled movie stuntman (a sensational Kurt Russell) targeting victims from behind the wheel of his title muscle car. Enjoyable, if overlong and hopelessly self-indulgent. (191 min. — and no, that’s not a typo.) R; strong graphic bloody violence and gore, pervasive profanity, sexual situations, nudity, drug use. (C.C.)
THE HOAX
(B) In 1971, writer Clifford Irving (a live-wire Richard Gere) almost pulls off a scam for the ages — by convincing the publishing world that he’s the authorized biographer of elusive, enigmatic billionaire Howard Hughes. Director Lasse Hallstrom (“Chocolat,” “The Cider House Rules”) treats Irving’s con as a comic kick in the pants, a rambunctious portrait of a delusional character who’s perfectly at home in a delusional time that bears more than a slight resemblance to our own. Alfred Molina, Marcia Gay Harden, Hope Davis, Julie Delpy and Stanley Tucci lead the sparking supporting cast. (115 min.) R; profanity, sexual references. (C.C.)
HOT FUZZ
(B) Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, who teamed up for the 2004 zombie romp “Shaun of the Dead,” reunite in this buddy-cop spoof about a gung-ho London officer who’s transferred to a sleepy rural village — just in time to take on a serial killer. A pedal-to-the-metal kick, two parts delirious mayhem and one part deafening noise, that could put the final digit to “Lethal Weapon” and its kind, if there’s any mercy in the world. (120 min.) R; violent content, graphic images, profanity.
IN THE LAND OF WOMEN
(B) After his girlfriend dumps him, a scruffy young writer (“The O.C.’s” annoyingly endearing Adam Brody) flees L.A. for the Detroit suburbs, where he cares for his ailing grandmother (Olympia Dukakis) and bonds with both a 40-something neighbor (Meg Ryan) and her estranged teenage daughter (Kristen Stewart). Director Jon Kasdan (yes, his father Lawrence made “The Big Chill” and “Body Heat”) makes an accomplished feature debut with this fresh, funny and perceptive movie, which also proves Brody’s big-screen appeal. (97 min.) PG-13; sexual content, mature themes, profanity.
THE INVISIBLE
(C) It’s tough to be in love and in limbo at the same time, as a promising young writer (“War of the Worlds’ “Justin Chatwin), attacked and left for dead, finds himself invisible to those still alive — and desperate to discover what happened to him before it’s all too late. A retread of the 2002 Swedish film “Den Osynlige” (based on a novel by Mats Wahl), this latest recycling of foreign-grown frights shows less interest in horror than in healing. (97 min.) PG-13; violence, criminality, sexual references and profanity, all involving teens.
KICKIN’ IT OLD SKOOL
(D) Justin Schumacher (Jamie Kennedy) has never left the ’80s — because he’s been in a coma for 20 years following a freak break-dancing accident. Now, two decades later, he’s awakened to find his dream girl (Maria Menounos) engaged to his grade-school nemesis (Michael Rosenbaum) and his parents buried in medical bills. That means it’s time to bust a move in a blast-from-the-past comedy that’s kind of funny — for about five minutes. Like its main character, this movie is in a constant state of arrested development. (107 min.) PG-13; crude and sexual content, profanity.
THE LAST MIMZY
(B-) An owlish 10-year-old (Chris O’Neil) and his angelic little sister (Rhiannon Leigh Wryn) find common ground — and extraordinary powers — through a strange box that washes up at their beachfront vacation home. This well-meaning, if underpowered, “E.T.” wannabe brims with gifted youngsters, addled adults, awe-inducing phenomena and, for those who need it, a cautionary message, yet can’t quite conjure the magic it wants so desperately to create. (90 min.) PG; mild peril and profanity, mature themes. (C.C.)
LIONS 3D: ROAR OF THE KALAHARI
(B+) This award-winning National Geographic production, filmed in the wild by Tim Liversedge, goes 3-D, focusing on a lion king’s battle with a young challenger for control of his throne — and a valuable water hole in Botswana’s Kalahari desert. It’s not a new movie, but this remastered giant-screen version, now at the Luxor’s Imax theater, has been magically transformed: you’re not merely there, you’re a lion, an honorary member of the pride. (40 min.) NR; animal violence.
MEET THE ROBINSONS
(B-) An orphan with a flair for wacky inventions finds a home — in the future, with the even wackier title family — in this computer-animated ‘toon featuring the voices of, among others, Adam West, Tom Kenny (alias Spongebob Squarepants) and Tom Selleck. It’s not exactly original, but this breezy tale juggles its familiar elements with heart, quirkiness and energy to spare. In digital 3-D at select locations. (102 min.) G; all ages. (C.C.)
MYSTERY OF THE NILE
(B+) This Imax documentary, playing at the Luxor, chronicles the first descent of the Blue Nile from source to sea, a 3,250-mile, 114-day odyssey that brings explorers face-to-face with rapids, crocodiles, bandits, malaria, sandstorms and the fierce desert sun. (47 min.) NR; all ages.
THE NAMESAKE
(A-) A young Calcutta couple (Bollywood veterans Irfan Khan and Tabu) starts a new life in America, only to have their all-American son (Kal Penn, stretching far beyond “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle”) reject his cultural roots in director Mira Nair’s beguiling adaptation of Jhumpa Lahiri’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. The spices may be exotic, but the basic ingredients are universal; the resulting cinematic dish is rich, complex and utterly delicious. (122 min.) PG-13; sexuality, nudity, drug use, disturbing images, brief profanity. (C.C.)
NEXT
(C+) Leaving Las Vegas proves a complicated proposition for small-time showroom magician Cris Johnson (who else but melancholy Nicolas Cage, returning to Glitter City for the fourth time) gifted — and cursed — with the ability to foresee a few minutes into the future, especially when Eurotrash terrorists threaten to detonate a nuclear device, prompting an FBI agent (Julianne Moore) to track him down in hopes of averting disaster. Like a lot of junk food, this cinematic twaddle proves ridiculously easy to swallow, thanks to actionmeister director Lee Tamahori, who guns the engines and plows ahead — whether any of it makes sense or not. (96 min.) PG-13; violent action, profanity. (C.C.)
PATHFINDER
(D+) When Vikings invade North America, a young Norse boy left behind after a shipwreck is raised by Indians — and grows up to battle the Vikings when they return. Karl Urban (alias Eomer in “Lord of the Rings”) leads the cast of a movie that degenerates into an infantile barrage of head- and limb-lopping against a fairy-tale backdrop (much computer-generated amplification) in a story that makes “Conan the Barbarian” seem like Dostoyevsky in its complexity. (99 min.) R; strong brutal violence.
PERFECT STRANGER
(C-) Hardly perfect: An investigative reporter (Halle Berry) goes undercover at an advertising agency to find out whether its sleazy owner (Bruce Willis) had anything to do with a childhood pal’s murder. This alleged thriller boasts more smelly red herrings than a wholesale fishmarket — not to mention plot holes the size of a wholesale fishmarket, unappealing characters with murky motivations and a director (James Foley) forced to distract the audience by any means necessary, including multiple “gotcha!” moments that prove surprise is no substitute for suspense. (109 min.) R; sexual situations, nudity, violence, disturbing images, profanity. (C.C.)
REDLINE
(D-) Bored billionaires organize illegal drag races in a motorhead action flick that makes a good argument for mass transit. Moviegoers among certain demographic groups will be enticed by the ornamental female population (led by Nadia Bjorlin) and by the overly agitated fleet of exotic cars, from Lamborghinis to Ferraris. Still, this isn’t exactly a car wreck, mainly because it’s far less exciting and you can, in fact, look away. (95 min.) PG-13; violence, illegal and reckless behavior, sexual content, profanity, drug references.
REIGN OVER ME
(B) Former college roommates — one (Don Cheadle) who has it all, the other (Adam Sandler) who lost it all when his wife and daughters died on Sept. 11 — reconnect on the streets of New York and help each other find themselves. Unlike too many dramas that package people and plots so neatly they feel artificial, “Reign Over Me” isn’t afraid to embrace life’s messiness and pain. And Cheadle and Sandler create such heartfelt rapport that everything surrounding them picks up their positive vibes. (125 min.) R; sexual references, profanity. (C.C.)
SHOOTER
(C+) Mark Wahlberg follows his Oscar-nominated “Departed” turn with this intermittently preposterous, drawn-out — but sometimes entertaining — tale of an unstoppable ex-Marine, an exiled marksman, who’s framed for a presidential assassination and sets out to track down the true killer. A straight pulp-fiction sniper movie that benefits from Wahlberg’s gritty performance, stinging political commentary and more “Here’s how you do that” moments than the complete “MacGyver” DVD collection. (124 min.) R; strong graphic violence, profanity.
TMNT
(C+) Time to raise some shell! Yes, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back, digitally animated and ready to kick some serious behind — that is, as soon as they stop all this unseemly bickering with each other. This latest big-screen incarnation is closer in spirit to the original comic book than the animated TV series that baby-sat a generation of youngsters, but what’s lacking, except in too-quick flashes, are the wit and self-mockery that have marked the franchise in its various formats. (88 min.) PG; animated action violence, scary cartoon images, mild profanity.
300
(C) Well, at least it’s not 300 minutes long. This adaptation of Frank Miller’s graphic novel only feels that way, as 300 strapping Spartans try to repel thousands of Persian invaders during the bloody (and we do mean bloody) Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C. Everything looks cool, but “300” is so busy reveling in bombastic, blood-drenched excess that the acting can’t hope to match the action; the chiseled, Chippendales-ready performers resemble action figures hacking their way through the cartoon carnage of a video game. (117 min.) PG-13; graphic battle sequences, sexual situations, nudity. (C.C.)
VACANCY
(D-) Bickering spouses (Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale) suffer car trouble and wind up in an isolated motel’s honeymoon suite — the locale for a series of snuff films starring unsuspecting guests. Yes, it is a horror flick and supposed to be violent. But the way in which it gets off on the violence — and, ostensibly, hopes the audience does the same — is especially distasteful and, frankly, misogynistic. When it’s over, you’ll feel grimy, sickened and desperately in need of a shower. (97 min.) R; brutal violence and terror, brief nudity, profanity.
WILD HOGS
(D) Weekend warriors (Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy) go from mild to wild when they rev up their suburban lives on a cross-country motorcycle trip. Or, more precisely, they embarrass themselves by falling off motorcycles, setting fire to inanimate objects and indulging in hissy fits with spectacularly unfunny results, while others (including those of us in the audience) watch helplessly. (100 min.) PG-13; crude and sexual content, violence.
