The 6(66) scariest albums ever to come from Vegas
Like the famished gargoyle recently freed from hell, currently waiting for you beneath the stairs when you get home, true scares are right around the corner.
The same holds true when it comes to local music.
In honor of Halloween and all, let’s take a look at the 6(66) scariest records ever to come from Las Vegas:
Guttural Secrete, “Reek of Pubescent Despoilment”
No, “Gluttonous Portions of Intestinal Seepage” aren’t on the Del Taco menu, but you’ll need a similarly strong stomach to handle this rigorous, 32-minute test of one’s gag reflexes. Think of the gnarliest, most gratuitously revolting splatter flick you can imagine (“Dead Alive” comes to mind). Well, this is pretty much its death metal equivalent. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll save money on ipecac.
Demon Lung, “Pareidolia”
With singer Shanda Frederick’s doleful incantations chilling the blood of Demon Lung’s funereal lurch, any one of the band’s three releases could be included here. But we’ll go with this 2012 EP, whose title references John Carpenter’s underrated 1986 classic “Prince of Darkness.” What that film suggests is that the devil is in the details — quite literally — and these four haunting jams will bring just a little more Satan into your life each and every day.
Acid Enema, “Misanthropic Visions”
“Why would you want to destroy the world?” a man asks in a sampled piece of dialogue here. “Because it’s the only action one could take that would have any purpose,” comes the response. And there you have it, folks, the reason for this duo’s being. “Blackened speedcore for despondent souls” is how they describe their unrelentingly harsh songbook, which pairs throat-bloodying black metal shrieks with jackhammer gabber beats. We’d call it the sound of hell’s discotheque on a Monday, when all the blue-collar ghouls are especially disgruntled at the onset of yet another work week.
The Fat Dukes, “Bafomitorium”
“Let’s fling open the doors of the nearest sanitarium, equip all the patients with guitars, butcher knives, various adult periodicals and a wheelbarrow full of trucker speed and see what happens!” We’re not suggesting that’s how this record was made, just that it totally sounds like it. “Bafomitorium” isn’t scary so much as disturbing, from deranged diary reading “Summertime” to the full-on psychotic episode that is “Vegas Take One.” You could have never been within 500 feet of these noise rock subverts and still seriously consider filing a restraining order against them, based solely on this album.
Goatlord, “Reflections of the Solstice”
When it comes time to kick the bucket, most of us would prefer to gently tap it over in our sleep. You perish s-l-o-o-o-w-l-y in these dudes’ company, though, like that skinny chap chained to the bed in “Seven.” Though it was released 26 years ago, this doom death cult classic remains one of the heaviest records to come from these parts. Grab a pew in the “Underground Church” and prepare for pain.
Steel Panther, “All You Can Eat”
True dread comes in many forms: The demon under the bed, the ghost in the attic, grown men in zebra-print spandex. So many real-life nightmares are addressed by these brave hair metal preservationists here. Specifically, “The Burden of Being Wonderful”: “I’m just a Maserati in a world of Kias / ‘Genius’ would describe any of my ideas,’ frontman Michael Starr sings. “If I was born in 1453 / Leonardo Da Vinci would be jealous of me / But a world of Stevie Wonders never see.” Oh, the horror.
Contact Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0476. Follow @JasonBracelin on Twitter.
