A Henson puppet from ‘Puppet Up! Uncensored’ answers burning questions
Editor’s Note: As Robin Leach winds down his month-long Italian family vacation with a visit to Rome and gets ready for his annual month-long stay in La Jolla, our next guest columnists today and Friday are one of the puppets opening Friday evening in the new show PUPPET UP! UNCENSORED at The Venetian; 11-year Strip performer Nathan Burton; Nick Hawk, the controversial star of GIGOLOS, set in Las Vegas, on Showtime; and Larry Blackmon, who has led Cameo for four decades. The band is now headlining at Westgate Las Vegas. Who’s up? The puppet is up!
By an anonymous puppet from PUPPET UP! UNCENSORED
I am a puppet. To be more specific, I am a “Miscreant” puppet created by The Jim Henson Co. About 60 of us are invading Sands Showroom to perform in PUPPET UP! UNCENSORED at The Venetian starting in July.
People often ask me questions. “Who made you?” “Where do you get your tiny clothes?” “What’s it like to have a person stick their hand up inside you?” I answered questions for the media recently. Here are excerpts.
Are you excited to come to Las Vegas?
We are! With our penchant for bad behavior and our total inability to be appropriate, we think Las Vegas is the perfect fit for us.
Before coming to Las Vegas, where did you perform?
Everywhere. Edinburgh, Toronto, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, Sydney, Melbourne, Muncie, Ind. That’s everywhere, right?
Is traveling harder for puppets than people?
You’re kidding, right? You try being shipped to Australia in a box only to accidentally end up in Vienna, Austria. True story. They had to send us to Sydney via Paris, Shanghai and some island that smelled weird.
Any worries about playing Las Vegas?
Yes! We’ve all heard about “Vegas throat,” and the puppets were terrified that we’d all get it. I had to remind them that none of us actually have throats. Idiots.
What’s the best part of the show?
Making people laugh. Shocking people just a little bit. The puppeteers think they are the ones responsible for the success of the show, but without us they’d just be doing comedy with their bare hands. I mean, what can you do with just your fingers? Don’t answer that.
Who takes care of you when you’re not in use?
First off, I resent the term in use. I’m not a tool. OK, maybe I am a tool, but don’t say it out loud. We have a full-time puppet wrangler who repairs damages humans do to us. We get thrown around, stretched, crushed, slammed, and all without extra pay. Actually, we don’t get paid at all. That’s another issue.
What do puppets eat?
We’re puppets. We don’t eat. Don’t try to be clever.
What can audiences expect at PUPPET UP! UNCENSORED?
A fast-paced show with hilarious, improvised sketches based on audience suggestions. Singing, dancing, vintage Henson routines and really inappropriate humor. (The puppeteers try to rein us in, but once we’re on their hands, we’re in charge.)
Memorable moments in past shows?
Too many to count! Hot dogs barbecuing one of their own. A first date between a fish and cavewoman. One-eyed aliens singing barbershop harmony, improvised James Bond theme songs, lots of puppets drinking, fighting, stealing, smoking, making out, causing trouble. You know: Basic stuff.
Will we recognize any puppets from TV or movies?
Probably not. Or not yet, I should say. A lot of us are gonna do a movie next year, but I can’t talk about it. You got any Everclear on you?
No. What’s the hardest part of your day?
Being put away after the show. The cast goes out for a drink. We get plastic bags put over our heads and stuck in boxes unless we need an arm sewn back on, or we have to dry out from sweat.
Puppets sweat?
Humans sweat. We’re puppets. We don’t have glands. What is wrong with you?
What’s the best part about being a puppet?
We say what we want and do what we want. We don’t care about convention or propriety. We’re freaky and free and twisted and wrong, and we love it. Nobody can control us. Nobody!
Except, as you said, you’re puppets. The puppeteers control you.
Right. I see what you did there. Well played. I have to go now. I’m having my inner foam replaced. Before you ask, yes, we’ve all had work done. Gotta look good for Las Vegas.
Be sure to check out our other guest columnist today, comedy magician Nathan Burton, who headlines in Saxe Theater at The Miracle Mile Shops at Planet Hollywood.
