‘Chippendales: The Show’

34279197-0-4

Sex appeal is highly subjective and personal, so interpret this as you will:

Dorothy Hamill took her daughter to Chippendales to celebrate her 21st birthday.

Why is this relevant? Unless America’s Sweetheart of the ’70s has us fooled, I’m citing it as evidence that Chippendales is the tamest, most respectable and Hamill-worthy of Las Vegas’ nude-dude revues.

Again, read that as an endorsement or a caution. If you want porn-vid puns and four guys in tighty whities to straddle you or your BFF bachelorette, call the "Men of Hooters." If you want to be in the foamy crossfire when a guy pours a beer on himself and then shakes like a wet dog, it’s "Thunder from Down Under" you seek.

But if you want to look but not touch (much) and watch with a degree of separation? In a cozy venue offering the best production values in the genre? It’s "Chippendales," the brand name in male G-string shows.

The bow tie and cuff guys have been a fixture at the Rio since 2002, and in their current custom-built show space since early 2005. On Feb. 11, they cut a torso-shaped cake to celebrate 3,000 performances (though one always wonders about the accounting to document such publicity milestones).

"Classy" might not be the best word to describe the effort, given that one of the new archetypes — taking his place alongside Construction Worker and Dress Uniform Soldier — is White Trash Guy, romping to Kid Rock’s "All Summer Long."

And there’s the moment where the smattering of dragged-along dudes in each audience will cringe and start hoping their ladies will reward this act of selflessness later on. Three guys — separately on a bed, chaise lounge and motorcycle — arrive at the same moment of, uh, pantomimed self-satisfaction.

Nevertheless, the show maintains a relative decorum. The first bare buns are seen in fluorescent light, 15 minutes into the show. The first well-lighted view is 15 minutes later, after the gents lose their fedoras, ties and boxers dancing to "You Can Leave Your Hat On."

The first lap dance isn’t done by one of the lads, but by a female volunteer from the audience, in a send-up of "The Dating Game." Likewise the ol’ condom-on-the-banana trick.

The opening number with an ‘N Sync-era theme song is unchanged for tradition’s sake and shows off a rear video wall that towers over the 10 dancers. Singing host Jaymes Vaughan and guitarist James Davis offset the canned, dance-to-track feel of some male (and female) jiggle shows.

The choreographers try to stay current and rotate in new pieces, with the most clever being an "Old Time Rock & Roll" that goes full circle to "Risky Business." The dancers all slide onto the stage in their Tom Cruise shades, dress shirts and underwear before taking the party into the audience.

Though fairly symmetric in their six-pack abs, the Chippendales offstage are as diverse as any workplace. There’s a real construction foreman (John Rivera), a vegan who proves you can be one and still be ripped (Chaun Thomas) and a Renaissance man (James Wilcox, who has trained Navy SEALs, studied at Cambridge and worked at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine).

More evidence still that cuffs and collars have become a mainstream tradition and common ground as part of a girls night out. No matter if, for different groups, the show ends up the wildest part of that night or the tamest.

Contact reporter Mike Weatherford at mweatherford@ reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0288.