Smirking vampire adds bite to ‘Diaries’

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It has all the makings of a new ad campaign from the convention authority.

Ian Somerhalder was enjoying a Vegas night out this spring when he got a call from his agent. If he wanted to be a part of “The Vampire Diaries,” Somerhalder needed to memorize eight pages of dialogue and be in L.A. the next day for an 11 a.m. meeting.

But the former “Lost” star didn’t hurry back to his hotel to cram, didn’t rush home for a refreshing night’s sleep in his own bed. Really, who wants to waste a perfectly good night on the Strip?

The next thing Somerhalder knew, it was 5 a.m., he hadn’t memorized a thing and he still had to drive to L.A.

“My girlfriend is not the best morning person, and so I just let her sleep,” he says. “I just put (the script) across the cabin of my car and worked — safely, obviously — just haulin’ ass through the desert, man. It was beautiful. … It was a good day. It was a great day.”

As a testament to his driving skills — honestly, it’s all I can do to shuffle through my radio presets without veering into oncoming traffic — his acting skills, or a combination of the two, Somerhalder made it to his meeting in one piece, wowed producers and became the best part of “The Vampire Diaries” (8 p.m. Thursdays, KVCW-TV, Channel 33).

Whenever the drama threatens to get bogged down with the burgeoning romance between undead teenager Stefan Salvatore (Paul Wesley) and recent high school orphan Elena Gilbert (Nina Dobrev), along comes Somerhalder as Stefan’s vampire brother, Damon, to chew through the scenery — not to mention arteries — at will.

Damon’s been at war with his conscientious, nonmurderous brother for decades and follows Stefan back to their ancestral home in Mystic Falls, Va. Once there, Damon begins treating the womenfolk like his own personal minibar.

He’s put the head cheerleader under a spell and only stops feeding off her long enough to toy with her while leafing through her copy of “Twilight.” “What’s so special about this Bella girl?” he asks dismissively. “Edward’s so whipped!”

One minute, he’s listening to a Depeche Mode cover and dancing around the Salvatore mansion with a half-naked waitress like a scene out of “John Hughes’ Dracula.” The next, he’s snapping her neck like a sexy, sexy twig.

And pretty much any time it’s looked as though a supporting character — the Salvatores’ nephew, the high school football coach, the local TV reporter — was about to assume a larger role, Damon has snuffed them out. It’s tough to tell which is going to come after him first: a torch-wielding mob or the Screen Actors Guild.

Granted, I’m probably the only person watching “The Vampire Diaries” primarily for Damon’s smirking, swaggering asides. When a furious Stefan throws a letter opener into his brother’s chest, Damon’s only concern is for his clothes. “This is John Varvatos, dude,” he says, inspecting his ruined designer T-shirt. “Dick move.”

But young viewers have embraced the vampire brothers as well, making the series The CW’s most-watched premiere ever, more than doubling the audience for the network’s new take on “Melrose Place.”

Sure, it sounds like a no-brainer now, but while the “Vampire Diaries” novels predate “Twilight” by 14 years and “True Blood’s” Sookie Stackhouse books by 10, it’s still the newest bloodsucker on the block when it comes to movies and TV. And there was a real chance “The Vampire Diaries” could have been seen as vampire overkill, so to speak. But Somerhalder says the series fills “the one little niche that was available.”

” ‘Twilight’ is the feature version … and then (there’s) ‘True Blood,’ but that’s the HBO version,” he explains. “You know, a 13-year-old girl is most likely not going to sit in her family’s living room and watch ‘True Blood’ with her mom. That would be a little awkward.”

Awkward? In some parts of the country, “True Blood’s” fang-banging and demonic orgies would earn that mom a three- to five-year stint making license plates for the state.

But while it’s always been natural for thoughts to turn to vampires this time of year, how do you explain their recent rock-star status during the other 11 months? What is it about the undead that viewers just can’t seem to get enough of?

“The whole thing with vampires is that there’s something very sexy and enticing about someone or something that is very old, yet very dangerous,” Somerhalder says. “You know, that weird thing that we all have as human beings that we are attracted to danger, sex, power and intelligence, and you can wrap all that into one human being that happens to be immortal.”

Or, as his alter ego Damon puts it: “Some girls just can’t resist my good looks, my style, my charm (and) my unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift.”

Christopher Lawrence’s Life on the Couch column appears on Sundays. E-mail him at clawrence@reviewjournal.com.