Shows spark urge to give a tweet

Like its subject matter, “Area 51 Declassified” (10 p.m. today, National Geographic Channel) is shrouded in so much secrecy, just getting an advance copy required a signed nondisclosure agreement preventing me from discussing its contents.

Until now.

(Cue ominous music.)

Actually, I’m not sure what all the fuss was about. Yes, “Declassified” features never-before-seen footage from inside the top-secret compound, but it’s not like the special trots out definitive proof of aliens, spaceships or the Ark of the Covenant. If anything, it goes out of its way to debunk the conspiracies.

Don’t get me wrong, it makes for an entertaining hour, as some of the now grandfatherly types who worked at Area 51 during the Cold War share their experiences.

It even made me long for someone to turn their stories into a “Mad Men”-style period drama.

It’s just — For the love of Howard Beale! — when is this run of unscripted Vegas-based shows going to end?

Before you say anything, I’m fully aware that complaining about getting paid to watch TV is like whining because your unicorn’s mane is just too lustrous.

But the last time I was able to use this space to say, “Hey, here’s something you should watch,” Charlie Sheen had a job, Kirstie Alley didn’t, and Donald Trump was just the boorish host of a third-rate reality show. (Even though everybody knew he wouldn’t, part of me wishes Trump had run for president, just so NBC would have been forced to cancel his “People Who Seem Vaguely Familiar Apprentice.”)

When I started this column nearly six years ago, a high-profile show would come through town maybe every other month. But this year, Vegas-related TV has gone mad — like full-on, Gary Busey-off-his-meds berserk — with the arrivals of everything from MTV’s spring break and “The Real World” to “Gigolos,” Showtime’s increasingly dubious reality series about alleged male escorts.

Since February, reality shows have been flooding the city in waves, sometimes three or four a week, each one crazier and tackier than the next — like blondes on “The Real Housewives of Orange County.”

There is an upside to all the local filming. Take the economic impact of Spike’s “Repo Games,” which gives people who are about to have their cars seized a chance to pay off their rides, free and clear.

“I have 50 staff members with me,” executive producer Sally Ann Salsano said during the show’s 25-day Vegas shoot. “We’re all staying in hotels. We have to eat out three meals a day. So wherever we go, we also pump money in the economy as well. And then, by paying off the people’s cars, it helps them spend more money locally, too.”

Admittedly, the valley needs every penny it can get right now, but that show is beyond hideous. I’m not saying its crew members deserved to be shot at, as they were in North Las Vegas, but on the list of my least favorite TV experiences, “Repo Games” can be found right alongside having heard the you’ll-never-forget-where-you-were news of Osama bin Laden’s death from Andy Cohen on Bravo’s “Watch What Happens: Live.”

And this reality TV boomtown doesn’t appear to be going bust anytime soon. In the space of one press release last month, Discovery Networks announced three new local series: “Penn & Teller’s Secrets of the Universe,” the aquarium-manufacturing “Tanked” and the tentatively titled “Lion Kings of Las Vegas,” which follows the performing Fercos family and their big cats.

Throughout all this, I haven’t been able to show any love to the final season of “Friday Night Lights,” sing the praises of HBO’s “Treme” or shine a light on AMC’s “The Killing” — the mesmerizing tale of grief based on Denmark’s “Forbrydelsen,” which, given the show’s content, I can only assume is Danish for “Raining and Crying” — just to name a few.

This has mostly been a long and ranty way of saying I’m finally going to have to start tweeting, something I swore I’d never do.

I’m no Luddite, just not what you’d call a people person. And the whole concept of social media irritates me more than a splinter in a paper cut at a Justin Bieber show.

But with local reality series sprouting up like gaudy, time-sucking little weeds, Twitter seems like the best available way to spread the word about worthwhile new shows.

Plus, I’m far too lazy to blog.

So follow me, @OnTheCouchLVRJ, for recommendations, TV news and random snark — and info on the occasional reality show, but only when absolutely necessary.

And for you kids out there, I might even explain that Howard Beale reference.

Christopher Lawrence’s Life on the Couch column appears on Sundays. Contact him at clawrence@ reviewjournal.com. Follow him on Twitter, @OnTheCouchLVRJ.