White Socks Loses Its Friend
White Socks, the misunderstood wardrobe staple, has died. We can only hope he rests in a better place now, one where he’ll never have to encounter, or God forbid be paired with, Man Sandals ever again.
Socks lived a long, hard life and suffered greatly in the end as man after fashionably challenged man insisted on introducing him to every shoe they had in their closet. The well-meaning guys figured he hit it off so well with White Sneakers, he’d probably enjoy getting to know others, too.
If they only knew White Socks was a bit of a recluse. He felt he could be comfortable with Sneakers and Sneakers alone. The two forged a rare friendship, one in which they just didn’t feel right without each other but together things made so much sense.
While Socks thought other shoes such as Leather Loafers, Dark Oxfords and Designer Lace-Ups had a lot to offer, he always felt like he should be doing the Moonwalk when they came around and, well, that gave him a sick feeling right down to his toe seams.
Instead, he saw those shoes getting along better with his cousins, Gold Toe Socks and Ribbed Socks. As for Man Sandals, however, he couldn’t see anyone from the Socks family being friendly with those shoes. Still, some of the most style-ignorant men thought otherwise and consequently inflicted much unnecessary sorrow on White Socks — and anyone who bore the misfortune of witnessing such abuse.
Rest in peace, White Socks.
