Calling on the King

Hey Elvis. Are you listening buddy?

It’s me, Guy Laliberte, head of Cirque du Soleil. You’d like me. I went up in space. Knowing your love of all vehicles, I know you would have dug that thrill ride, too.

I’m standing here at your grave at Graceland, with Daniel Lamarre, Gilles Ste-Croix and the rest of my “TCB” boys in the “Montreal mafia.”

And, like most who visit Graceland, I’m tryin’ to talk like you — thankya.

That Weatherford boy is taking all this down. Which is pretty weird because we’re speakin’ French. Besides, he seemed too busy running around your house snapping pictures and throwing his right hand into this arthritic “claw” he says he got from Tortelvis, the comic frontman of Dread Zeppelin.

But I digress. We’re here to ask you a favor, ol’ buddy. We need your help.

See, we got this new show “Viva Elvis” starting up Friday — well, for ticketed previews anyway — and we really need you to win one for us.

You know how you owned this town in the ’70s? Well, it’s ours now. But people are starting to whisper that maybe we don’t wear our sequined jumpsuit as well as we used to.

You remember 1956? Your 11 hits and all the screamin’ girls? Well, that was us with “Mystere” and “O.” Then we did “Zumanity” and “Ka,” which pushed us in new directions. Some people like what we did with ’em, some don’t. To each his own. But we were cool again with “Love.” I don’t have to tell you about the Beatles.

Then came Criss Angel. I tell ya man, you’d dig his jewelry and motorcycles. And he loves his mama as much as you did yours. But the people who buy tickets? They think that boy ain’t right.

We got other problems, too. We opened this show “Zaia” at the Venetian Macao. I suspect some of your graveside visitors from Asia tell you the place is struggling; trying to figure out how to get the vacation spenders, not just day-trippers from China punchin’ slots.

And we just opened this clown-Vaudeville thing called “Banana Shpeel” in Chicago. We’re planning to take it to Broadway. But there’s this guy named Chris Jones. Writes about theater for the Chicago Tribune. Knows our work and has even been to Vegas to see it.

He hated “Banana Shpeel.” Called it “cold, chaotic, clipped and cacophonous” and said “there is a great deal to fix.”

If people don’t like “Viva Elvis” in a fancy new 1,800-seat theater at Aria? I don’t even wanna think about it.

That’s why we’re here, Elvis. We got a lot countin’ on this. We need this one to be “Hound Dog” or “Don’t Be Cruel,” not “Do the Clam” or “Queenie Wahinie’s Papaya.”

We need the “Jailhouse Rock” movie — or even the one with Ann-Margret — not “Kissin’ Cousins.”

You’re the King. You wouldn’t let a Guy down. Would ya?

Contact reporter Mike Weatherford at mweatherford@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0288.