A modest proposal from Mirage headliner Terry Fator
Editor’s Note: While Robin Leach is on his annual family vacation in Italy, several of his showbiz pals have stepped forward to submit guest columns while he enjoys the wines of Tuscany. Today, we welcome AMERICA’S GOT TALENT winners Terry Fator and Mat Franco, who now both call Las Vegas home with their Strip residencies.
The NBC show also can claim a third winner with a Strip headliner show, Paul Zerdin with his ventriloquist show at Planet Hollywood. No TV show in history has produced so many new stars who have claimed their place in the Las Vegas firmament.
First from The Mirage is Terry, who was the $1 million winner of Season 2, and he’s followed by magician Mat Franco at the Linq Hotel who won Season 9 as the show’s first and only illusionist to become champion. Terry has a unique proposal in the midst of the current presidential campaign:
By Terry Fator
I love my schedule at The Mirage. Sure, it’s a full schedule with shows usually five nights a week, plus the touring I do across the country, but it still leaves me plenty of time every day to work on new routines, learn new songs and celebrity impressions and introduce new characters.
And I do that two to three hours every day without fail because my show is updated constantly, making it different than the others. Not only is my tour show different from my Las Vegas show, but I also completely change my Las Vegas show at The Mirage every 18 months so that fans who are return guests will always see something new.
It was in working up the routine for my latest addition to the show, my Donald Trump character, that I came up with a pretty good idea that I believe will help our nation. Now in The Donald’s routine, he is really not partisan; basically, my Donald is there telling me — OK, yelling at me — ideas on how to make my show better.
Because Donald has “yuge” ideas, really “yuge!,” it got me thinking – what would be a giant idea that both the puppet Donald and the real Donald might like? And here it is. (And, in the spirit of cooperation, please feel free to share it with Donald, Hillary Clinton or anyone running for president.)
The idea is this: Let’s move the capital of the United States from Washington, D.C., to Las Vegas.
Now before you say “but Terry, that’s crazy,” hear me out. There are all kinds of great reasons for this. First of all, wouldn’t it be nice to have senators and congress members located in a place where people gamble with their own money instead of the taxpayers?
Next, they’d feel right at home here. The minute they drive on the Strip during the Consumer Electronics Show, they’ll see the gridlock of which they’re apparently fond.
A third reason to move here is for diplomacy. Instead of wasting money on foreign junkets, they’re only a $9 cab ride away from being at the Eiffel Tower, the canals of Venice and the pyramids of Egypt.
And, yes, there are many more reasons to relocate to Las Vegas. What better place to handle global warming than a city where the air conditioners blast away 24/7?!
Official White House state dinners will be much less expensive when the president takes the Queen of England to a $4.99 all-you-can-eat buffet.
And who needs The White House when the president can live in a much bigger mansion — assuming Wayne Newton will give him his house key.
If Las Vegas is the capital, the State of the Union speeches will be much shorter. After all, casinos want people gambling, so no speech will be longer than 90 minutes before the curtain comes down on the president.
We can bring in needed revenue without raising taxes and reduce the national debt by making every session of Congress a $20 cover and two-drink minimum.
Now there will be people who don’t like the move from D.C. to Las Vegas. The fact that prostitution is illegal here will anger dozens of senators, but once they find out that drinks are comped, they’ll get over it.
The final objection will come from traditionalists who say, “That’s not what our Founding Fathers wanted.” I don’t mean the Founding Fathers who gave us Washington, D.C. I refer to the founding fathers (aka godfathers) who created Las Vegas. They will ask, “What does Congress have to do with organized crime?”
I think anyone who watches C-Span will know the answer to that.
So, all in all, consider this a modest proposal for both parties to consider. And I’m looking forward to next year’s presidential inauguration right here in Sin City. Until then, I’ll see you at The Mirage!
Check back Thursday for a guest column by Paul Zerdin, the third of AMERICA’S GOT TALENT winners with a Strip residency, and a preview of THE BEATLES LOVE at The Mirage celebrating its 10th anniversary . If you want to celebrate Bastille Day on Thursday, there’s no better place than Marche Bacchus at Desert Shores as a skydiving team arrives with the new harvest of Beaujolais Nouveau.
