Dud shows live in infamy
Was “Triumph” one of the worst shows ever to hit the Strip?
Can’t say. I never got to see it. Reviewers were held off from the Las Vegas Hilton’s time-traveling magic show until the arrival of a climactic illusion, a vanishing locomotive that never pulled into the station.
I had to rely on early reports of this short-lived bomb from trusted friends. One “felt like less of a person afterward. … It was that bad. And not bad in a fun, ‘Bite’ way, or even sparkly, gay bad in a Hans Klok way. Just in a sad, depressing, horrible bad way.”
“Triumph” still hopes to reopen, so maybe I’ll get to find out for myself. In the meantime, the “Klok” word brings to mind other contenders for the worst show of our young millennium, a Bottom 5 of Las Vegas infamy.
5. “Notre Dame de Paris.” This musical version of the book Americans know as “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” was actually big in Europe. But at Paris Las Vegas in 2000, show-goers cried for “Sanctuary!” from English lyrics of the “moon in June” variety, baffling “Mad Max” costumes and the bummer “everyone dies” ending, a shock to literary types who had only seen the Disney animated cartoon.
4. “Storm.” A Fabio-looking dude in a long leather coat shouts “Take refuge from thunder!” before he’s chased down by a giant Slinky of a tornado covered in pantyhose. At least the dancers were hot in this 2001 Mandalay Bay attempt to do a Ricky Martin concert without Ricky Martin. Should we be even a little worried that the same director, Jamie King, is doing Cirque du Soleil’s new Michael Jackson tribute?
3. “The Beauty of Magic.” Whose idea was this? Find a Dutch magician (Klok) touring Europe with an extremely familiar, Siegfried & Roy-like magic show. Bring him to the U.S. and inexplicably pair him with … Pamela Anderson! For better or worse, the “Baywatch” babe had only 12 minutes of stage time in this 2007 dud at Planet Hollywood.
2. “Raw Talent Live.” The price of political asylum. The Cuban cast of a very good show called “Havana Night Club” defected, only to be stranded in a very bad one in 2008 from the same producer, Nicole “ND” Durr. The Sahara performers wandered lost amid blinding video walls and a lot of shouting about a “Laptop of Life.”
And the winner is…
1. “Nebulae — The Lifeforce.” Direct from the Casino Beverly Hills in Moscow: A cast of Russian space cadets cavorting in silver tunics on a fluorescent spaceship at The Venetian in 2000. The lead singer answered the question, “What if Michael Jackson joined Kiss?” Twin sisters (at least one of them the producer’s girlfriend) taught us how to “sail on a ship of love.”
I wish the “Triumph” time machine could take me back to revisit that one.
Contact reporter Mike Weatherford at mweatherford@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0288.
