Boomers try to rediscover love
Divorce. The love of your life dies.
They are two of the most common characteristics of single baby boomers.
Not surprisingly, another common characteristic of many single boomers is that they’re back in the dating scene.
They’ve made a choice to try and rediscover love, to try and start out on a new path in life with a fascinating new someone.
Studies generally show the majority of married people met spouses through people they knew. Friends, mutual acquaintances, common associations give birth to further associations — such as dance, church and singles groups.
Unfortunately, because many boomers moved to Las Vegas from somewhere else in the recent past, deep friendships with common associations of people aren’t the norm. So it’s common for both men and women to try online dating or enlist the help of matchmakers.
As a matchmaker and dating coach in Las Vegas, Patti Novak, owner of Vegas Valley Introductions, starts out with a 90 minute complimentary interview to get a sense of a person’s character and traits. She does a criminal background check. She says too many people starting to date again want to learn too much too fast.
Politics and religion on a first date, for instance, are a no-no, she says. Get to know someone first before taking on subjects that can create friction even among lifelong friends. She says her work not only saves time for her clients, but also ensures that whomever you date has similar qualities to you. She’s guested on “Oprah,” CNN and “Today.”
Ken Solin, author of the “Boomer Guide to Finding True Love Online” and a contributor to the Huffington Post and AARP’s online magazine, suggests a busy daytime cafe is ideal for a first date. One reason is safety, another is that you can leave easily if the date isn’t working out.
Solin, who also works as a date coach, says never to lie about anything online.”If you lie about something like your age, the other person is going to think, ‘What else did she lie about?”’
Always list your four or five best qualities, he says, and expect the other individual to have some of them.
Despite the “opposites attract” cliche, he says a relationship doesn’t last when you have nothing in common.
Paul Harasim’s column runs Sunday, Tuesday and Friday in the Nevada section and Thursday in the Life section. Contact him at pharasim@reviewjournal.com or 702-387-5273. Follow @paulharasim on Twitter.
