Making too low an offer on a home seldom works

Q: You wrote that if a house has been for sale at a certain price for a long time, it probably isn’t worth that much. But what about a condo or a townhouse, where there are several of them for sale? I’ve never purchased a condo before and wonder if the same advice will work.

What guidelines can I use when I make my offer? Do I start low and wait for them to return the offer with a discount, and so forth, until we split the difference? I could use your help. — T.R.

A: Whether it’s a single house or attached housing, I wouldn’t advise starting low and expecting a lot of back-and-forth bidding. That seldom works in the purchase of real estate.

It’s a good idea to make your first offer pretty close to what you would really pay if you had to. This way the seller is tempted to take the offer, rather than make a counteroffer with the risk of losing you.

When you say “several of them are for sale,” I wonder if you’re talking about new housing. With that, whether a house or an apartment, you’ll probably have to pay what the developer is asking. You might be able to bargain if quite a few have been standing unsold for months, but in that case, investigate whether you’d be buying into financial issues. Remember that with a condo, co-op or townhouse you’re going to take on partial ownership of the whole development.

Different open house sign

Q: We have listed our house and our real estate agent has had a couple of open houses. As we were leaving the last one, we noticed a different real estate agent’s open house sign on the corner of the road. Since our house is the only one for sale on our street, this confused us. Our agent said they work with other companies and have several other signs. The sign they used on this corner was also heavier duty, and it was windy that day.

This concerns me. A potential buyer may be confused if they don’t find the same sign in front of the house for sale, and pass the house up. They could also claim they were being misled. Is this a common practice? And are there any procedures or guidelines for addressing such an action? — D.K.

A: Perhaps that broker really did use another firm’s heavier sign just because of high winds. However, I’ve never heard of anything like that. It is probably a violation of license law. You’re right in thinking potential buyers could have been confused.

At any rate, your listing broker is legally bound to obey any lawful instructions. You can certainly require they use only their own signs. Tell them to buy heavier ones.

Trusting the daughters

Q: I just read the letter from M. about signing over her home to two daughters. You left out something very important. How well does she trust those girls? They could get mad and kick her out of the house that now belongs to them for any reason.

Back in 2004, my wife of 29 years was dying of cancer and signed a quitclaim deed for our home, giving ownership to her daughter. The girl was emptying the house when I came home. I told her to put everything back or I would call the police. Doing so was considered a threat, so I was served with a restraining order and kept from home the last two months of my wife’s life. — G.L.D.

A: I’m sorry to hear of your experience.

Using a family mediator

Q: I’m writing with a suggestion for D. E.’s question regarding a dispute among four heirs to a family home in probate. Consulting a family mediator might be a good way to work through issues of this type.

A well-trained family mediator would assist in clarifying the issues involved, make sure all persons are heard, adjust possible power imbalances, draw out possible solutions, advocate for fairness and preserve relationships.

Before retiring as a mediator, I assisted five heirs in a similar case involving four sons and their stepfather living in places all over the world. We used telephone conference calls and snail mail to start, ending with a weekend meeting in my office. Peace was maintained, relationships strengthened and a marvelous solution worked out. — R.S.R.

A: These days, email and Skype must work well when heirs are scattered worldwide.

A qualified mediator can be located at www.apfmnet.org, the website of the Academy of Professional Family Mediators. Many have backgrounds in law or social work, and have rejected the adversarial approach to family differences.

Edith Lank will respond personally to any question sent to edithlank@aol.com; to 240 Hemingway Drive, Rochester N.Y. 14620; or to www.askedith.com.