Etbauer still riding hard, competing for saddle bronc titles at 45
One goal is to keep your toes turned during the entire ride, but something tells me it’s not the same as a ballerina mastering first position. It’s also important to swing your feet over the horse’s shoulders in a split second, and as the animal bucks, to bend those knees and finish your spurring stroke, which sounds a little like the advice Lon Kruger might give on shooting free throws if his players did so from a saddle.
If you can do all that in eight seconds, without touching the horse or yourself or anything else with your free hand, not have a foot slip out of a stirrup, not drop a rein or fall early and suffer permanent spinal damage by having it twisted into the shape of something Wetzel’s might bake, you post a score.
Which means Billy Etbauer either could have been a saddle bronc rider or brain surgeon, but chose the more difficult profession.
"All I can say," he said, "is that I have been blessed."
Blessed is being 45 and still able to look down and see your feet or staying awake through the entire 11 p.m. newscast. It’s going a week without worrying about your salt intake. Etbauer is beyond blessed.
Cowboys say the best way out of difficulty is through it. I’m just not sure they meant to do so as long as he has.
He began the National Finals Rodeo on Thursday night adding to career earnings that have climbed over $2.7 million, finishing second in saddle bronc riding with a score of 85.5 and pocketing a little over $13,000.
It is the 20th time he has qualified for the NFR and he has won the final round more than 10 times. He also has five world titles and a perpetually sore back, the latter more understandable than the guy who gets one from reaching for the remote too quickly.
If I were a chiropractor milling around a saddle bronc competition, I would become lightheaded counting the potential profits. It’s like a continuous commercial for Tylenol. Arnold Palmer would go into traction just watching it.
But there is Etbauer, beating men nearly 20 years younger whose only recourse some nights is to remind him they were barely out of second grade when he rode in his first NFR.
"Everything stands out about him," said Chad Ferley, who at 28 finished out of the money Thursday with a 77.5. "It’s amazing for a guy that old."
(I pause here to take offense.)
"Most guys are out of the bronc riding game by the time they’re 35, 40," the poor misguided young cowboy continued. "He is already five years past that and still kicking our butts."
Etbauer said stomach crunches and a good diet help, but that’s also the trick for not resembling a complete slob. You might view a tough workout as a treadmill run and time in the free-weights section. Cowboys prefer riding colts and fixing fences, shoveling grain and pitching hay.
But there is more to it. Etbauer stays in the rodeo game by taking a more cautious approach than he once did, because if suffering a ruptured disk in 1993 and being told by doctors you wouldn’t ride another five years teaches you anything, it’s to accept withdrawing from an event when you don’t like the look of the horse you draw.
I’m not exactly certain the type of facial expression a horse must make to result in such a decision, but I have to believe it’s something like how UNLV football coach Mike Sanford looked after watching the San Diego State film.
"You have to love what you do, work your hardest at it and thank God he gave you the ability to do it," Etbauer said. "I don’t know if I ever felt a need to do this. I wanted to do it. I love riding broncs. I love rodeo. That’s why we all started doing it."
He is South Dakota born and lives in Edmond, Okla., where he and his wife raise quarter horses and three children (not in that order), wondering if any of the little ones might also grow up to hold the respect of more than 17,000 as Etbauer did with those at the Thomas & Mack Center.
Rodeo fans are a loyal bunch. An appreciative gathering. They value toughness and consistency and longevity. All the traits Etbauer owns.
"He’s ageless!" an NFR announcer told the crowd Thursday as Etbauer concluded his ride. "If he can ride a bronc at 45, you can get on your feet for him!"
And they did.
Not bad for a guy that old.
Las Vegas Review-Journal columnist Ed Graney can be reached at 702-383-4618 or egraney@reviewjournal.com.