Las Vegas Raiders audio gear guide

The stirring strains of the “The Star-Spangled Banner” before kickoff.

The weekly, music-to-our-ears weeping of Denver Broncos fans after yet another crushing loss.

Oh, the sounds of an NFL Sunday.

There’s nothing quite like it.

As such, your football watching audio gear needs to be on point.

So here’s a guide to the proper sound equipment to ensure that your gameday sonics are more like a sweet goal-line stand than a shanked punt.

Float on

Raiders are pirates, and pirates love water, naturally, because that is where they pillage and plunder and enjoy the heart-swelling splendors of marine wildlife. You, on the other hand, get sea sick if the bath tub is too full. So you might want to confine your game-day aquatic adventures to the swimming pool with this water-proof, floatable speaker. Just stay on the shallow end there, buccaneer. $35.99; amazon.com

Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder

A football party without beer is a football party without us — and a football party without us is no party at all. So save yourself the shame, embarrassment and ostracism of loved ones by ensuring our attendance with this sweet Bud Light speaker. It sounds great, and is also less filling. $28.50; walmart.com

The Quarter-Pounder-With-Cheese of home speakers

D-u-u-u-de, this right here is the Trent Brown of home speaker systems. Like that 6’ 8”, 380-pound Raiders offensive lineman/man mountain, this Klipsch speaker bundle is one sizable unit. Everyone within a three-mile radius of your pad will know when the Raiders score with these speakers blaring the play-by-play. Make that no-good Chargers fan next door tremble in fear like Brown does all-you-can-eat buffet owners with this bad boy. $2,455; adorama.com

Touchdown, dude

It’s like Gandhi once famously said, “When throwing a Sunday afternoon football rager with your favorite dude-bros, sometimes it’s best just to keep things simple, chief.” Follow that sage advice with this Raiders-themed LED bluetooth speaker, which is on the obvious side, granted, but a touchdown nonetheless. $109.99; fanatics.com

Be cool

Yes, we will all be able to tailgate together once again when the pandemic ends and the party begins. And when we do, this portable cooler with built-speaker shall soundtrack the festivities in style as we grill hot dogs in parking lots and salt our burgers with the saline tears of vanquished AFC West rivals. $89; amazon.com

Contact Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0476. Follow @JasonBracelin on Twitter and @jbracelin76 on Instagram