NASCAR fines Tony Stewart, then takes his suggestion on lug nuts

He asked if I had been picking at the gearshift knob, like in that “Seinfeld” episode. Then he said I was missing a lug nut on the left front wheel. That could be dangerous, he said.

Mr. Goodwrench said that riding around with only four lug nuts probably would not improve my position on the 215 Beltway.

When outspoken Tony Stewart returned from an offseason nonracing injury to drive in his first Sprint Cup race of the season last weekend, he did not waste time in picking at NASCAR’s gear shift knob. Stewart said in no uncertain terms that if some of these race teams insist on leaving lug nuts off during pit stops to hasten a car’s return to the track and improve its position, it would only be a matter of time until wheels started flying off.

A tire could fly into the crowd.

Spectators could get hurt.

A driver could get hurt, because NASCAR Chevys and Fords and even the Toyotas don’t drive very well on three wheels. There might be a crash, and it might be a lot worse than flipping a buggy over a sand dune and then what, Stewart said. He implied this was one safety matter NASCAR should address posthaste. Before the then what.

NASCAR responded by fining Stewart $35,000.

The other drivers, who aren’t exactly enamored of the prospect of driving a Chevy or a Ford or even a Toyota around the track on three wheels, pitched in to pay the fine.

On Monday, NASCAR changed the rules again. It seems safety does matter. Starting with Sunday’s race at Talladega, where the cars rip around the track at a blistering rate of speed, all wheels must be fastened with five lug nuts and not only three or four.

It also said the fine on Stewart stands. Apparently, he crossed some sort of line when he picked at the sanctioning body’s gear shift knob using no uncertain terms.

Or it could be the roar of the engines has made NASCAR completely tone deaf, and did you happen to see all the empty seats at Bristol a couple of weeks ago?

BIG RIGS RUMBLE INTO BULLRING

As they used to say on Monty Python, and now for something completely different.

A dozen 3,000 horsepower big-rig racing trucks will rumble into the Las Vegas Motor Speedway Bullring on Saturday on College Night, and if that isn’t enough to make your spine tingle, they’re from Canada. So not everybody up there is watching the NHL playoffs.

Twelve big rigs on a tiny three-eighths-mile track might be one too many, but we’ll see. Saturday’s schedule includes Bandoloro cars, Thunder Cars, Super Stocks, Legends, Bombers and Grand American Modifieds.

Racing begins at 7 p.m. Hot dogs are only $2, and beers are only $3 if those Canadian big rigs aren’t enticement enough.

According to LVMS, the Bullring hosted a two-lap exhibition race featuring six semitrucks pulling trailers in July 2011. But this is the first time the North American Big Rig Racing series will appear.

Upon further review, the claim that this is something completely different stands.

GREEN-WHITE-CHECKERED

• If you didn’t know better, you would have sworn Nick Nuccitelli received “The Call.” Driving on Hometown Heroes Night in honor of public safety workers, Nuccitelli, a police officer from Ivins, Utah, edged Martin Sullins to win a NASCAR Bombers division main event at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway Bullring. Other class winners were Noah Gragson (Super Late Models); R.J. Smotherman (USLCI Bandolero Bandits); Kayla Eschelman (USLCI Bandolero Outlaws); Chris Bosley (USLCI Thunder Cars); Toni Bredinger (USAC HPD Midgets); Peyton Saxton (NASCAR Grand American Modifieds); Cameron Morga (USLCI Legends); Justin Johnson (NASCAR Super Late Models feature No. 2); Martin Sullins (NASCAR Bombers feature No. 2); Travis Boyle (USLCI Thunder Cars feature No. 2).

• KV Racing Technology, a team co-headed by longtime Las Vegan (and 1996 CART series champ) Jimmy Vasser, will enter a third car for the 100th running of the Indianapolis 500. Englishman Stefan Wilson will drive, with partnership from Indiana Donor Network’s Driven2Save Lives, a program named in honor of Wilson’s brother, Justin. Justin Wilson was an eight-time Indy 500 starter who was killed last year at Pocono, Pennsylvania, when he was struck in the cockpit by flying debris.

• IndyCar veteran Oriol Servia will drive a third car for Lake Las Vegas resident Sam Schmidt in the Indy 500. This was the ride for which NASCAR veteran Brian Vickers was considered, and that Kurt Busch briefly discussed before Busch decided to focus on NASCAR’s Coca-Cola 600, which runs the same day. Busch was contemplating taking another shot at auto racing’s The Double on Memorial Day weekend before saying maybe next year.

Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist Ron Kantowski can be reached at rkantowski@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0352. His motor sports notebook runs on Friday. Follow him on Twitter: @ronkantowski