Memories from reconnecting with others via Facebook make true believer

First, it was a surprise that he knew the hugely popular star of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and the spinoff “Lou Grant,” the drama about journalism — where reporters didn’t take notes.

Fox was studying communications at UCLA in the 1970s and needed a part-time job. He looked at one of those job boards at the university and saw that an unidentified family wanted a baby sitter for three kids in Bel Air, a ritzy neighborhood near Hollywood.

“I drove there, knocked on the door, the door opens and there he is in a bathrobe with ‘EA’ embroidered on his robe,” Fox said.

“Have you come here to answer the ad?” Asner asked.

Fox stumbled at first, since he was a “Mary Tyler Moore” freak and recognized he was in the presence of megawatts of celebrity. He entered, saw a lineup of Emmy Awards, became even more nervous, but was hired and for a couple of years was the part-time baby sitter for Nancy and Ed Asner’s three kids: twins Matt and Lisa, about 12, and Kate, about 8. The three kids were a handful, Fox recalled. “Exuberant, energetic. Never tired.”

Asner was pretty much the gruff character he played on TV.

“He was somewhat gruff, but he was never rude,” Fox said. “With Ed Asner, if you’re a friend of his, you’re a friend for life. He’s not that dissimilar from the Mary Tyler Moore show.”

Fox and his parents had Thanksgiving with the Asners once, but after he graduated and moved to Las Vegas in 1976, he lost contact with the family.

Fast-forward 35 years to Dec. 19, when Fox reluctantly joined Facebook at the urging of others. “People I knew professionally and personally were badgering me to join. I thought it was just a narcissistic exercise to display family photos. Now I realize it’s more.”

At first, he started linking with friends and work associates, then he began connecting with people he hadn’t spoken to in years. Then he linked to “Fans of Ed Asner” and was stunned when Matt Asner, now in his mid-40s, contacted him.

“He had all these memories that came percolating up,” Fox said.

Since then, they’ve exchanged family photos via Facebook. (If you are one of Fox’s friends, the photo of him with the three children is very Dorian Grayish. Only the hair has changed.)

In less than a month, he has 265 friends. But it’s not the networking that has been the benefit. It’s the memories from reconnecting with others. And not just fond memories of the Asner family, but memories of Hollywood in the 1970s, when there was so much creativity and talented writing on television.

“There’s a value to Facebook,” Fox said, admitting it’s addictive and time-consuming. He doesn’t need the online social networking of Facebook to advance his career, although he concedes connecting the names with faces helps his memory.

He’s become a true Facebook believer and helped his 79-year-old mother join, and she’s connected with friends she knew 60 years ago. “She only has nine friends on Facebook, the rest are dead, but she’s loving it.”

Meanwhile, I’m pondering the etiquette and even the language of Facebook. The front-page Wall Street Journal story about “unfriending” warned of the dangers of removing someone as a friend and how that becomes a minefield for hurt feelings. Then I learned I’m too old for MySpace, the social networking for a younger crowd.

Then there’s this whole “poke” thing under pictures. What kind of poking are we talking about? Poking like a finger in the chest or like something else someplace else?

Facebook says it’s “a feature without any meaning.” But meaning is what you give it, and I’m not ready to poke anybody yet on Facebook. I do plenty of poking and prodding in this space.

But thanks to Mitch Fox, I finally see some potential in Facebook. When I have the time. Gotta go Twitter now.

Jane Ann Morrison’s column appears Monday, Thursday and Saturday. E-mail her at Jane@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0275. She also blogs at lvrj.com/blogs/morrison.