Think ahead before visiting hospital-bound family members or friends

But it’s a safe bet that we’ll all become patients at one time or another and that we’ll know friends and family members who’d appreciate a visit from us when they, unfortunately, are admitted to the hospital.

And, for many of us, that’ll be stressful, because going to the hospital even just as a visitor can induce an acute case of — for lack of a more precise medical term — the willies. So, we’re prone to commit inadvertent, embarrassing, even potentially harmful lapses in both etiquette and common sense.

We asked a few people who know hospitals pretty well for a few tips about what to do and what not to do when visiting somebody in the hospital. Follow their tips — which apply to nursing homes and other care facilities, too — and your visit may be both beneficial to the patient and at least less intimidating for you.

DO VISIT …

Our experts’ first, unanimous point: Absolutely, take the time and make the effort to visit.

“Visitors, in my opinion, can be really terrific for a patient,” says Maggie Rafferty, a registered nurse and chief experience officer for St. Rose hospitals in Southern Nevada.

Visitors “could help to cheer up the folks they visit,” she says. “It’s a friendly face among strangers, because, in our hospitals, patients can see up to 80, maybe 90, different faces during a hospital stay, and all are pretty much people they haven’t seen before.”

Visitors also offer hospital-bound patients “a connection with the outside,” Rafferty says, and can ease “the isolation someone can feel in the hospital.”

… BUT PREPARE FIRST

Adjust your own perspective before you visit. People who have been hospitalized are “probably not going to be at their very best,” Rafferty says. “They’re not going to feel good. The may not look the same as they usually do. They don’t have makeup, or their hair is not perfectly coiffed.”

Similarly, patients may show the effects of the conditions they’re being treated for. They may be connected to an IV or heart monitors or other equipment. And they certainly may not be in the mood in which you’re accustomed to seeing them.

Preparing yourself for the visit will help to make the visit beneficial for the patient. And remember, Rafferty says, that your job as a visitor is to cheer the patient up and offer a pleasant break from hospital routine.

More practically, make sure that whomever you’re going to see “is ready to see you,” Rafferty says. “Is it the right time? Some people don’t want a visit right after surgery or right after they’ve have some pain or are getting over the effects of anesthesia.”

Margaret Covelli, a registered nurse and chief nursing officer at Spring Valley Hospital Medical Center, says it’s also important to know what’s going on with the person you’re visiting.

“For instance,” she says, “you want to make sure the person isn’t preparing for a test or surgery of some sort, or whether they can’t eat or drink anything.”

If possible, obtain the basics beforehand from a family member or the patient. Meanwhile, visitors might schedule their visits so that they don’t arrive all at once and overwhelm the patient with people and questions.

“One suggestion I make is for folks to select somebody to be the spokesman,” Rafferty says, while another option is to post information and updates for visitors on a website such as CaringBridge (www.caringbridge.org).

VISIT AT AN APPROPRIATE TIME

It used to be that “visiting hours” were just that — a few designated hours each day during which visitors could visit hospitalized patients. Today, most hospitals allow visits just about any time, although intensive care units and other specialized units still retain more strict visiting hours.

Still, schedule your visit at a time that’s convenient for both patient and hospital staff. Danita Cohen, executive director of strategic development and marketing for University Medical Center, notes that doctors tend to go on rounds early in the morning, so avoid visiting then. Instead, later afternoon — when patients are less likely to be having tests or seeing doctors — might be a better time.

Lori Townsend, a registered nurse and assistant chief nursing officer for Sunrise Children’s Hospital and Sunrise Hospital, says the hospital tends to be busiest between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. So, she says, “after dinner is probably one of the most popular times to visit — that traditional 9-to-5, get off of work, go to dinner, then come to visit the neighbors, grandparents, things like that. And, weekends, too.”

Also understand, Townsend says, that visiting children involves following greater security measures. At Sunrise Children’s Hospital, for example, children can be visited only by offering a code provided by the parent. So, if visiting a child, be sure to check with a parent or guardian first.

LEAVE THE KIDS AT HOME?

See whether the hospital has age restrictions for visitors. Then check to see if the patient you’re visiting wants kids to come along, too.

Most hospitals strive to create a family-friendly environment and allow wide latitude for child visitors, although kids may be restricted from visiting specific units (so, again, call ahead to check).

But give thought to bringing along the kids. Rafferty says that while “we don’t encourage young kids to come to the hospital,” the decision must be made “on an individual basis.”

For example, a child’s visit might be appropriate if “it’s somebody from out of town (visiting) people who are very ill, and this might be the last time to go see Grandpa,” Rafferty says. But, otherwise, a hospital is “not really a place for kids. I don’t mean that in a negative way, but it can be very scary (for a child) to see Grandpa sick.”

Also, Covelli says, children can carry viruses that adults may not, “and a lot of times we don’t know the child is sick until after the fact.”

Conversely, visiting a hospital may expose a child to illnesses that he or she might not be exposed to elsewhere. For that reason, Townsend suggests leaving at least very young kids at home.

“I see it all the time,” she says. “You see these babies and 2-year-olds in to visit, and I’m thinking, ‘Why would you bring a baby, who’s so fragile and has not been exposed to everything, to a place where everything is?’ ”

WHAT, AND WHAT NOT, TO BRING

Think twice before bringing along some of the more traditional hospital visit goodies.

Flowers, for example, are “absolutely prohibited in intensive care,” Covelli says, because water and soil carry bacteria.

Strongly scented flowers such as lilies may trigger allergic reactions or even asthma attacks, she adds.

Latex balloons can be risky for patients with latex allergies, and balloons of any kind, whether latex or Mylar, can present choking hazards to young children.

Then, Cohen says, “don’t bring in any food that has not been cleared with the nurse or physician.”

For one thing, patients may be on special diets, Rafferty says, “and even if they’re not on a special diet, they might be feeling queasy and don’t want to smell your Starbucks.”

Also, says Dr. Rupesh Parikh, a medical oncologist with Comprehensive Cancer Centers of Nevada, patients may be on “a strict intake-and-output (regimen) so we can monitor how much fluid is gong in and out, because it may be affecting their kidney, their heart, et cetera. So if we give him extra drinks and we don’t account for it, it can completely throw off our management as well.”

Don’t bring in food for yourself, either. Cohen recalls a former trauma patient who said that his sister “came to visit every day, and every day she’d bring a large soda into the room. He was heavily sedated and couldn’t move or speak or drink, but he could see the soda from across the room.”

Instead, Covelli suggests bringing gifts that can help a patient to pass the time — books or magazines, puzzles, pens or markers, “anything that might give them something to do.”

And, pajamas or other less-revealing attire probably would be welcomed, Parikh suggests.

LEAVE OVER-THE-COUNTER THINGS AT HOME

“Don’t bring in any outside medicine,” Parikh says: “ ‘He’s taking this herb, or this vitamin,’ or, ‘His doctor always had him on this but the hospital doesn’t have it.’

“That’s the most important point: Don’t bring in any medicine, and if you do, you have to run it through the doctor that’s taking care of him at the hospital.”

A vitamin or nutritional supplement might affect the patient in a way similar to the drugs the patient is receiving in the hospital, Parikh says, and taking home medications can result in double side-effects or toxicity.

DURING THE VISIT

Stay home if you’re sick, and don’t wear perfume, cologne or anything that could nauseate a patient. Don’t smoke or use e-cigarettes, and wear laundered clothing that won’t bring the scent of secondhand smoke into patients’ orbit.

Knock if the room’s door is closed (the patient may be undergoing a procedure or exam). Wash your hands before going to the patient (using the sink in the room is fine, but use a public restroom, and not the bathroom in the patient’s room, for other purposes). Be considerate of a patient’s roommate, if he or she is in a semiprivate room.

Don’t crowd the patient. Rafferty says a good rule of thumb is to have no more than two visitors in the room at the same time. If a doctor, nurse or member of the medical staff enters the room, consider it time to take a breather in the hallway.

Don’t be loud. Rafferty says St. Rose hospitals have so-called HUSH (“help us speed healing”) times when visitors are asked to be quiet to let patients rest.

Keep the conversation upbeat, Rafferty says.

“You’re trying to help them, so you don’t want to go down a path of bringing up something that’s negative.”

Covelli concurs.

“You want to be sure your attitude is positive,” Covelli says, “because it’s tough to be in the hospital and people tend to feel a little bit down as it is. So just bring a generally positive attitude with you.”

That’s true even if the patient doesn’t seem to be listening. Cohen recalls a trauma survivor who, though heavily sedated, could still hear what family members were saying in the room.

“So when important decisions are being made, I’d encourage families to have those types of intense and important conversations outside the patient’s room,” Cohen says. “Keep everything in the patient’s room extremely positive, even if they don’t believe that the patient can hear or understand what’s going on.”

KNOW WHEN TO GO

Don’t overstay your welcome.

“We certainly don’t want to overtire the person who’s sick,” Covelli says.

“Yes, people want visitors and loneliness can be an issue in hospitals or nursing homes, but when you notice the person getting tired, you really should get home.”

The goal of a visit should be to ease the patient’s loneliness and offer encouragement.

“I think the question at the beginning that you should be very cognizant of is, is your visit to benefit the patient or is it benefiting you?” Townsend says. “If the answer isn’t ‘the patient,’ then should you really be visiting?”

Contact reporter John Przybys at jprzybys@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0280.