Lovely entertainment choices for your Vegas Valentine

Apropos of a Valentine’s Day weekend, The Mirage booked White’s singing-songwriting spouse, Margo Rey, into B.B. King’s Blues Club, right next door to his shows in the Terry Fator Theatre. (Her sets begin at 11:30 p.m., after his show ends. Admission is $10.)

She’s the sister of Alex Reymundo, White’s opening act.

"Alex and I have done comedy together for 25 years, for as long as I’ve been in the business. And 25 years ago I met his sister. I saw her singing in a rock band in Dallas," White recalls.

"She was on her knees in a little leather miniskirt just beltin’ out this song. I thought, that’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. And here’s how I operate: When I see something I want, 20 years later I ask her brother for her phone number."

(He was married twice in that span, which might have slowed down his speed-dial.)

Rey earns the laugh from her husband after she says, "The first time I saw Ron, he was on his knees in a little leather miniskirt, too. We were made for each other."

The two "share a very similar, dark sense of humor," she adds. One time, stagehands were exchanging "This is weird" looks because she laughed so hard from the wing space at this line: "I have a recurring dream my wife gets run over by a bus. Does that make me a bad person? By the way, I’m driving the bus."

Rey says she understands most of what White says about "my wife" is either generic or "an amalgam of all the women he’s ever known."

But, she adds, "What’s really funny is when I write a song, Ron’s like, ‘Is that about me?’ "

White’s act is mostly about his own life, however heightened for comic effect it might be. "I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship," he says.

Whenever Valentine’s Day is connected to a weekend, Las Vegas wedding chapels anticipate a rush.

"Vegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them," White says. "Margo and I are proof that you can make this work. It just takes a little effort."

To keep couples happy for out-of-the-room excursions this holiday weekend, here’s a guide to match the right show to the right circumstances:

■ If you danced to "The Last Waltz" on your first date in 1967:

Engelbert Humperdinck — You just might hear "My Funny Valentine" at The Orleans this weekend.

"I’ll sing it just with a piano, because it’s something I don’t keep in my show," he says. Of his own signature hits, he says "After the Lovin’ " is "one of the big ones that represent my messages." After all, he says, it has the perfect Valentine’s Day lyric: "After the lovin’, I’m still in love with you."

■ If you actually want to think about each other a little bit:

"Defending the Caveman" — Kevin Burke’s one-man comic exploration of the differences between men and women ends with a big applause line: "I am selling true love and monogamy in Sin City." What more could a couple ask for this weekend?

■ If your own wedding didn’t have boozy Italians doing the chicken dance and yelling at each other:

"Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding" — Nothing says romance like a pregnant bridesmaid and a love-struck nun. Those who haven’t yet taken the interactive plunge will never find this odd form of theater as surreally detailed as this much-copied dinner show at the V Theater.

■ If your dinner conversations have become so quiet and predictable they would be enlivened by gunfire:

"Marriage Can Be Murder" — You quickly make friends, or at least suspects, as you try to rat out the killer in your midst in this interactive comedy at Fitzgeralds. It’s helmed by Eric and Jane Post, a cute couple themselves, married 21 years.

■ If this date has tension caused by an elephant in the room and it’s spelled "S-E-X" with a question mark:

"Zumanity" — Cirque du Soleil’s naughty cabaret puts it all out in the open. It’s a Vegas date-night mood enhancer for younger couples, same-sex couples, younger same-sex couples and those who have seen "Black Swan" and suddenly developed a yearning for hard-body acrobats.

■ If what’s good for the goose is good for the gander:

If a couple believe in absolute equality, he will down a shot and go with her to "Chippendales: The Show" at 8 p.m. at the Rio. Then they will hurry to the Luxor for "Fantasy" at 10:30 p.m.

The secret of this double-feature is that both shows are funny enough to wrench a few smiles from the nontargeted party.

■ If you want to know it’s a sure thing:

Anthony Cools — Because if she will do a chair in front of strangers when hypnotized, she’ll probably do you in private when she’s not.

■ When you’ve loved and lost like Frank has:

"Sinatra Dance With Me" — Because a guy whose dame has just skipped town with another guy and all the bread might drop by the bar at the Sinatra restaurant after the Wynn Las Vegas production, look up and catch a lady’s eye and discover that the best is yet to come.

■ If you want to make sure he passes the sensitivity test:

"Phantom — The Las Vegas Spectacular" — Because who would want to be with a guy who doesn’t get that "Phantom" is the most romantic show on the Strip? Because what gal doesn’t want to be stalked by an obsessive maniac-savant who would kill for her and croon her that song that plays when she flips open her musical jewelry box? Plus, it proves once and for all that a guy doesn’t even have to be that great looking. So if he doesn’t get that, then he’s not the one for you, girlfriend!

Contact reporter Mike Weatherford at mweatherford@ reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0288.