‘Get Smart’

Not that anybody will pay much attention to the many ways in which the new big-screen version of “Get Smart” plays dumb — and fails to capture the delirious slapstick lunacy of its small-screen inspiration.

Then again, is anyone surprised?

The original “Get Smart,” which ran from 1965-70 on network TV (the only kind of TV around at the time), delivered double-barrelled spy spoofery with a deft blend of Cold War satire and shameless slapstick, courtesy of Emmy-winning co-creators Mel Brooks and Buck Henry.

Both went on to bigger, big-screen things — including classics from “The Graduate” to “Blazing Saddles.” (The original “Get Smart” cast even went the movie route in the 1980 bomb “The Nude Bomb.”)

But the half-hour sitcom format proved an ideal showcase for the daft derring-do of good-guy CONTROL Agent 86 Maxwell Smart (Don Adams), who proved himself utterly incapable of living up to his surname, and svelte Agent 99 (Barbara Feldon), who always managed to save the world, and her perennially oblivious partner, from the villainous intrigues of the aptly named KAOS. Much to the relief of CONTROL’s beleaguered chief (Ed Platt).

I recall this history because the makers of the new “Get Smart” movie obviously don’t.

Not that movie adaptations of TV series should slavishly ape their source material. Some of the best small- to big-screen transfers, from “The Fugitive” to “Traffic,” do little more than borrow the show’s title and premise.

Yet it would be nice to imagine a “Get Smart” movie with even a bit of the wit and absurdist humor its small-screen counterpart brought to life.

It doesn’t happen in this “Get Smart” movie, that’s for sure.

On paper, and even on the poster, “The Office’s” Steve Carell seems like the ideal actor to step into the shoes (phone-equipped, of course) of TV’s Agent 86, the late Don Adams.

But this Maxwell Smart seems a far cry from the blithering, bumbling fool we (and Agent 99) knew and loved.

Would you believe “Get Smart’s” title character displays such admirable characteristics as sensitivity, empathy, even — dare we say it? — wistfulness? None of which come as standard-issue equipment for a spoofy spy guy. Especially this one.

That’s part of the problem with this “Get Smart.”

It grafts a typical origin story, detailing how Maxwell Smart becomes Agent 86, onto a typically breakneck espionage plot. And it serves up a few nodding, winking references to the original’s zaniness without ever once attempting to recapture its gleefully ridiculous tone.

When we first meet Max (Carell), he’s a wonky CONTROL analyst whose reports are so exhaustively detailed they put everyone to sleep — except CONTROL’s indefatigable Chief (Alan Arkin), who loves Max’s old-school dedication.

Max may be a whiz at spying via satellite, but he longs to get out in the field — just like his hero, the dashing Agent 23 (Dwayne Johnson, the actor formerly known as The Rock).

When KAOS’ latest dastardly plot compromises all of CONTROL’s field agents, Max gets his long-awaited chance to show off his savvy alongside his new partner, the crisply efficient Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway), who’s virtually unrecognizable (to KAOS or anyone else) after extensive plastic surgery.

Together, Max and 99 jet to Europe, where they’re hot on the trail of illicit nuclear weapons. Where there are illicit nukes, there must be KAOS. Where there’s KAOS, there’s shadowy leader Siegfried (a sneering Terence Stamp, wasted in a criminally underwritten role). And where there’s Siegfried, there must be his burly second-in-command, Shtarker (“Borat’s” supersize Ken Davitian).

“Get Smart” piles up the frequent-flyer miles with the inevitable globe-trotting (from Washington, D.C., to Moscow to Los Angeles) and ticks off the inevitable espionage elements, including a villain’s swanky black-tie bash and a big Hitchcockian climax in a big public setting.

Throughout, director Peter Segal (“Anger Management,” “50 First Dates”) has trouble integrating the movie’s rather straightforward spy games with the requisite wackiness.

Then again, screenwriters Tom J. Astle and Matt Ember (“Failure to Launch”) fail to launch any genuine flights of goofy humor, settling instead for elements we’ve seen way too many times before, from obnoxious agent Larrabee (David Koechner) to Max’s mischievous office pals (“Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip’s” Nate Torrence and “Heroes’ ” Masi Oka).

And Max’s bickering, competitive relationship with Hathaway’s dour Agent 99 will come as a shock to those of us who remember the original’s alluring Feldon — to say nothing of her purring adoration, and repeated rescues, of her dunderheaded partner.

As for that dunderheaded partner, it’s downright disconcerting to witness Carell transform Maxwell Smart from bumbling buffoon into endearing, nerdy nice guy — especially in the movie’s slapstick sequences, when the painful humiliation he endures elicits sympathetic cringes along with chuckles.

Clearly, nobody remembers Brooks’ definition of comedy: “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.”

But why should this “Get Smart” be any smarter than its hero? Neither one of them seems to realize that it makes no sense to update a beloved TV show — and ignore most of the elements that made it beloved in the first place.

Sorry about that, Chief.

Contact movie critic Carol Cling at ccling@reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0272.