Last-minute Valentine’s Day attractions and distractions in Las Vegas

There are two shows Downtown tonight on this Valentine’s Day at The D Las Vegas that are recommended for those trying to dodge Cupid’s arrows and resist love and pink hearts. This Hallmark day of chewy chocolates, seductive strawberries and lacy lingerie is for the romantics, but “Marriage Can Be Murder” and “Defending the Caveman” might just be the realistic approach to stop somebody from committing vows and promises that will likely never be kept.

After all, 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and the figure jumps to 60 percent for second marriages. Our neighbors in Utah have a divorce rate that’s higher than the national average, and in California, it has hit 60 percent, too.

With nearly 900,000 divorces recorded a year in America, it works out to one divorce every 35 seconds, or 2,400-plus a day. The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years. In all fairness, though, the surge is over, and divorce rates are on a three-decade decline — so hope springs eternal.

Las Vegas is The Romance Capital of the World, as we reported Friday in a story about Valentine’s Day wedding ceremonies. It used to take just one day for a quickie Nevada divorce. Today with the backlog and increased population, it’s gone from two to three days to an average of 10 days. An all-inclusive wedding can go for $499.99. And a quickie divorce — $350.

American Express believes that more than 6 million couples will get engaged on the most romantic day of the year. Americans are expected to spend more than $18 billion today as estimated by The National Retail Federation. What does that tell you? Love is free, but it comes with a price tag!

On this day of red roses, we’ll be nice and offer last-minute suggestions. Love is truly in the air if you pop the question 550 feet high in the world’s tallest observation wheel, The High Roller at The Linq Promenade.

My pal Bryan Kroten goes one better at Maverick Helicopters. The VP of Marketing says that his helicopter flights double in demand today, making it the best night of the first quarter. Fifteen minutes in the air for a wedding ceremony over the Strip is $1,500, but a minister, cake, champagne, flowers and round-trip limousine are included.

Nobody says love better as a couple than our city’s first lady and former first gentleman, Mayor Carolyn Goodman and husband Oscar, who are celebrating 55 years of their blissful betrothal this year. Join them at Oscar’s at The Plaza Downtown to let them prove that love is grand.

Two other highlights:

Nobody does chocolate better than our Ethel M Chocolates in Henderson. They’ve made Valentine’s Day sweeter with new inspired flavors including champagne-flavored truffles, two new four-piece collections and heart-shaped collectible tins. One of the heart-shaped confections has a strawberry and cream center.

Ethel M’s amazing four-acre botanical cactus garden, with its more than 300 species of plants, is Nevada’s largest and one of the world’s biggest collections. It is lit up by more than half-a-million pink, red and white lights today and is an attraction unto itself.

Still looking for the ultimate way to say “I love you”? For $400,000, our friends at Towbin Motorcars and Miss Daisy Flowers will deliver a new 2017 Rolls-Royce Dawn filled with 1,000 long-stemmed red roses. For those on less of a budget, here’s a Robin’s (Romantic) Royal Rundown for Valentine’s Day:

“Finding Neverland” at The Smith Center

Diana Ross at The Venetian

Cher at Park Theater at Monte Carlo

Flipside 4 at Sam’s Town

Galactic at Brooklyn Bowl Las Vegas at The Linq Promenade

The Mob Museum’s fifth anniversary Downtown

Save the World With a Loved One at Marvel Avengers STATION at T.I.

Love Me Tender Couple’s Massage Package at Spa Aquae at JW Marriott

Couples ThAIRapy at Vegas Indoor Skydiving

There are Valentine’s Day dinners at Hawthorn Grill at JW Marriott, Buddy V’s Ristorante at The Palazzo, Andiron at Downtown Summerlin, Edge Steakhouse at Westgate, House of Blues Foundation Room at Mandalay Bay, Honey Salt, Topgolf at MGM Grand, Cabo Wabo Cantina at Miracle Mile Shops of Planet Hollywood, Carson Kitchen and Therapy Downtown and more.

And of course there’s an Anti-Valentine’s Day Bash at HOB. Who knows? There might be so many singles there fighting the commercialization of St. Valentine, the priest from the 1400s who was executed by Emperor Claudius II for helping Christian couples marry, that you might find the partner of your dreams when you least expect it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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