Different Strokes
There are times when you feel like you’re not in step with critics. I can’t stand the acclaimed “Lost.” Eric Clapton makes me sleepy. And I didn’t see what the big deal was about “The Departed.”
You can chalk moments like this up to, “There’s no accounting for taste.” My Grandma Nana used to say that whenever I asked her why in the world she was watching “Murder, She Wrote.”
And so, a few very ambitious video games are garnering extremely good reviews, but I don’t want to play them for one more minute after writing this column. They’re not terrible. They’re just not for me.
“Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune” is a semi-epic adventure that would remind you of “Raiders of the Lost Arc” and especially “Tomb Raider.”
You trek along a many-hour tour of jungles, caves, waterfalls and submarine wrecks. You jog past leafy greenery and scuttle across ledges by fingertip.
You play as a treasure hunter who thinks he’s a descendent of the childless explorer (and slave trader, I’d like to add) Sir Francis Drake. Once you (as Nathan) find Drake’s supersecret map, the journey is on.
My big problem is the pacing. I play games to play them, not to watch them. In “Drake’s Fortune,” there’s a lot of watching of people talking in filmlike scenes. The guy and the girl are hot for each other; chat, chat, chat. Drake’s mentor gets shot; yada, yada, yada.
Normally, I’d applaud the effort of a game’s striving for good dialogue. The script for “Drake’s Fortune” is at least written well. It just goes on forever, when instead I want to climb stuff and practice aiming at people’s heads. Also, the shooting is a fairly sloppy and slow-going, aim-and-fire process.
What’s worse is I have to walk over every inch of the game to try to find small, hidden treasures in the grass, like a silver fish charm the size of a pendant. Tedious.
So if you’re looking for a pretty game, with lots of light quests, maybe you’ll like it. If not, I doubt it.
The other ambitious semi-epic is the sequel “Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction.” It’s even more breathtaking in its scenery than “Drake’s Fortune.” You travel through extravagantly busy places throughout the universe, where cars fly and such.
Our hero, Ratchet the Lombax (a bobcatlike, sci-fi biped) runs around with his robot buddy Clank. As you press them onward, you bash and shoot bad guys (space pirates, bugs, “Troglasaurs,” robots), whose “souls” (body parts) break up and enter your body spiritually, to give you more power.
“Tools of Destruction” is probably a good kids’ game. It’s cute. Parts of it are funny. But you beat up and shoot evil robots all the time. Mash two buttons for six hours straight, and you get the gist.
It’s as repetitive as algebra class, with all that problem-solving. I agree with Prince that there’s “Joy in Repetition.” I just don’t think this “Tools of Destruction” business is the repetitive act Prince was talking about.
(“Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction” retails for $60 for PS 3 — Plays redundant. Looks fantastic. Easy to challenging settings. Rated “E 10+” for alcohol reference, animated blood, crude humor, fantasy violence and language. Two and one-half stars out of four.)
(“Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune” retails for $60 for PS 3 — Plays OK. Looks very good. Easy to challenging. Rated “T” for blood, language mild suggestive themes, use of tobacco and violence. Two and one-half stars.)