Rock trends spark need to vent

Is there anything more annoying than a music critic complaining about stuff?

Seriously, it’s right up there with the 40-hour work week and having to wear pants in public.

We get paid well to go to rock shows for a living and shoot the poop with people like Paul McCartney and Ozzy Osbourne who would normally never talk to us.

So really, I have absolutely nothing to gripe about — except for the following things I could do without:

Bands playing entire albums live. OK, this trend needs to go the way of Brett Michaels’ hairline and disappear already. What once started as a novelty — a band performing one of their more celebrated records front to back in sequence — has become an increasingly frequent gimmick to keep acts out on the road when they don’t have a new album to flog or any other discernible selling point to get fannies in seats.

It was cool when Slayer did it with “Reign in Blood” a few years back, namely ’cause A) It’s one of the greatest albums of its kind ever, B) There were plenty of songs on the disc that the band didn’t regularly perform live, and C) It clocks in at a quick 30 minutes.

But since then, the practice has grown passe. Does anybody really need to hear Manowar do “Sign of the Hammer” in its entirety? You do? Hey, I don’t come to you with my problems, buddy.

Bands playing encores. Much like doing beer bongs of O’Douls, this practice just doesn’t have a point. You know the drill: At the end of a show, a band leaves the stage and unconvincingly bids the crowd goodnight before coming back out after sufficient applause. Yawn. It’s little more than an ego stroke and a waste of time. Does your proctologist need a round of applause before finishing the job? Nope. And neither should you, Meatloaf.

Fans whining about other fans standing up at shows. If you want to sit down at a rock show, fine. Apparently, being lame must be exhausting. But don’t get all Betsy Wetsy and pee your panties when someone wants to stand up, and you know, actually enjoy the show like you’re supposed to at a freakin’ concert. Next time, just stay at home — better to avoid the separation anxiety with your Lazy Boy.

Security at metal and hip-hop shows. Should you really be punished for wanting to see Megadeth and/or Nelly live? Well, OK, big “yes” when it comes to the latter, but still, the difference in treatment when it comes to the security at metal and hip-hop shows versus gigs by other types of acts is ridiculous. Really, is the cavity search necessary, helpful doorman guy? Stereotypes aside, neither crowd is more violent or obnoxious than any other type of audience. News flash, people get drunk and unruly at Toby Keith, Carrie Underwood and Jimmy Buffett gigs as well.

I mean how else are you going to get through them?

Contact reporter Jason Bracelin at jbracelin@ reviewjournal.com or 702-383-0476.